| Subject: PROOF!!!! |
Author:
kpsmith
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Date Posted: 09:45:25 11/23/01 Fri
>BAH HUMBUG!
>
>PROOF: Santa Claus Does NOT Exist
>
>
> There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the
>world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu,
>Jewish
>or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload
>for
>Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the
>population reference bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5
>children
>per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at
>least
>one good child in each.
>Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the
>different
>time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which
>seems
>logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that
>for
>each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of
>a
>second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the
>stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat
>whatever
>snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the
>sleigh
>and get onto the next house.
>Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed
>around
>the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for
>the
>purposes of our calculations), we are not talking about 0.78 miles per
>household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom
>stops
>or breaks.
>This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second--3,000 times
>the
>speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man made
>vehicle,
>the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a
>conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour. The payload
>of
>the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child
>gets
>nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is
>carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a
>conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting
>that
>''flying reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can't be
>done
>with eight or even nine of them---Santa would need 360,000 of them. This
>increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another
>54,000
>tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the
>ship,
>not the monarch).
>A mass of nearly 600,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates
>enormous air resistance -- this would heat up the reindeer in the same
>fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead
>pair of
>reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each.
>In
>short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the
>reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake.
>The
>entire reindeer team would be vaporised within 4.26 thousandths of a
>second,
>or right about the time Santa reaches the fifth house on his trip. Not
>that
>it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a
>dead
>stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration
>forces of 17,000 g's.
>A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim considering all the high
>calorie snacks he must have consumed over the years) would be pinned to
>the
>back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his
>bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.
>Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.
>MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
p.S Plz visit My gills Site www.thegills.50megs.com and let me know what u think
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