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Date Posted: 14:25:23 06/06/01 Wed
Author: Andrea
Subject: DANCE WITH LIFE -- Chapter 3

Well, everyone, I guess I was inspired today. Oh the joys of vacation LOL (I'm trying not to think about the fact that I'm working next week)

Well, here we go. Hope you like.

----------------------

CHAPTER 3 –

Night had fallen upon Port Charles, finally. The Scorpio living room bathed in darkness as Anna solemnly sat on the couch, with her legs curled up underneath her. She was staring in front of her with tears in her eyes as a photo album lied on the table in front of her.

She took a deep breath and lifted her eyes slightly. She spotted a shelf filled with video tapes near the television set. Anna hesitated before getting u p from the couch slowly and walking towards them. She hesitantly let her finger brush against the tapes and then stopped on one particular tape that caught her attention. An emotional look came across her face, mixed with curiosity and fear. She picked the tape up from the shelf and read the inscription again.

“Nurses Ball 1996”

In Paris, Robin had mentioned the Nurses Ball to Anna. Albeit very briefly, but still, Robin had mentioned how involved she was in it.

After staring at it for a little while, Anna kneeled down on the floor and put the tape in the VCR. The light emanating from the screen barely lit the room, but just enough to clearly emphasize the sad expression on Anna’s face. She took a few steps back and sat down on the couch. Her eyes were riveted on the screen as she saw Mac and Robin’s faces.

As Robin began to speak in her microphone, Anna’s eyes filled with tears.

**Robin: Everybody in this room has one thing in common: AIDS has touched us-- either through personal experience or out of conviction that stamping out this virus is a fight worth taking on. Two years ago-- God, only two years ago...Two years ago, I found love, or it found me, I'm still not quite sure how that works. I fell in love with a beautiful, perfect boy. And over the course of those two years I watched a man wage a magnificent battle. AIDS does that, it makes you grow up real quick. As the virus weakened him, and physically diminished him, and caused him unspeakable pain, and stole his eye sight...He should have been here tonight. He should've had a long life ahead of him. Instead he had nineteen years, nineteen years. It's wrong-- it's an abomination. We can't stand passively by while this virus takes our best and our brightest. As Jon Hanly says... as Jon Hanly used to say, "AIDS is an illness cloaked in fear." We thought half the battle could be won if we could overcome the fear of getting too close. And I believe that with all my heart. Well, ladies and gentlemen, take a look. This is the face of HIV. It's not so horrible-- is it? It's not so scary. I ask of you that every time you look into this face you'll remember that being HIV positive doesn't mean your life is over. Thanks to people like you, more and better research is being done all the time. Stone didn't live to see a cure, but God willing, I might. I beg of you, please don't be afraid to get too close. Don't turn your back on us. There are people like me that need you. Like Stone. Like Baby Jeanetta. Like Jon Hanly. Don't make us invisible as well. **


Anna closed her eyes in pain as she broke in tears. Robin, who had been standing at the foot of the stairs for a few minutes now, felt her heart break inside her chest. She slowly walked towards the couch as Anna’s eyes stayed fixed on the screen.

She watched the screen as Robin broke down completely and was unable to continue. Jason got up on stage with her, whispered in her ear and helped her put the microphone down. He then picked her up and carried her off the stage. The audience was in tears and silent as Robin clung to Jason.

Anna lifted her eyes and saw Robin standing a few feet away from her. She cleared her throat as best as she could and wiped a few tears away, but couldn’t wipe the sadness off her face. Robin looked at her mother in silence for a little while as a small tear rolled down her cheek.

“Mom...” Robin whispered unable to say more.

“Oh my little girl…” Anna sighed as she pulled Robin closer and wrapped her arms around her.

“It’s okay…” Robin breathed in her mother’s sweater. “I’m okay.”

“I know.” Anna whispered as she touched her daughter’s cheek. “I just look at you…and you’re so darn grown up now.” She added.

“I’m not all that grown up.” Robin smiled as she shook her head.

“Yes, you are.” Anna replied in a loving tone.

There was a short pause as Anna turned to face the television screen momentarily. When she turned her eyes back on Robin, she saw the small tears hidden in her daughter’s eyes.

“So this is Jason.” Anna spoke softly.

Robin paused, taking a deep breath before nodding silently.

“Remind me to thank him, if I ever see him again.” Anna said softly as Robin frowned, confused.

“I thought you already did,” she pointed out to her mother, “on the bridge.”

“Yes, I did.” Anna spoke as tears welled up in her eyes. “But I just found another reason to thank him.” She said in a quiet tone. “For being there for you on that stage when I couldn’t.” she added as her voice wavered with emotion.

“Yeah, well,” Robin said, almost regretfully as the memories filled her heart. “I think the last thing Jason wants is to hear my name.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“I do.” Robin whispered as a matter-of-factly.

Anna reached out silently and took her girl’s hands into hers and paused for a moment.

“I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you to get up on that stage in front of all these people…” Anna said, shaking her head. “I can’t believe how strong you’ve become.”

“I’m not that strong.” Robin denied in a calm, even tone. “I had to be carried off that stage.” She pointed out.

Anna looked into her daughter’s eyes and such pride came over her.

“But you don’t need to be carried off the stage anymore.” Anna said as she stroke Robin’s hair.

It suddenly dawned upon Robin. She had never really thought of it that way, but her mother’s words suddenly brought some sort of realization.

“No I don’t.” Robin whispered almost to herself in realization.

Anna cleared her throat and then offered to go get Robin something to drink but Robin declined. After a short while, Anna went towards the stairs, getting ready to go to bed. She turned around just before making it upstairs and glanced over at Robin, who was still sitting on the couch, lost in her thoughts. She lowered her eyes before slowly climbing up the stairs.

Robin stayed there, all by herself, in the darkened living room and looked around herself. Wow. She had learned to live with her HIV and without Jason and somehow, tonight, for the first time in many, many nights, it all came back to her. Those fears, those initial feelings that had taken up so much of her heart in the beginning. For the first time in a long time, memories of Stone, memories of his fate, of what her fate could be like just came rushing back to her. She suddenly felt like she was suffocating. It happened to her sometimes, whenever she didn’t feel as ‘alive’ as she thought she should. Words like HIV and Stone and death and risks…and Jason, just danced around in her head. She hadn’t felt that way in a long time.

She felt scared.

For no reason at all. She just felt scared. For herself, for her mom, for the past and for the future.

She had to do something; just something.

Robin, dressed in a pair of grey sweatpants and blue t-shirt, got up from the couch and grabbed her black, jeans jacket from the chair as she headed out.

Just then Anna came back downstairs.

“Robin, I can stay with you if you can’t sleep or…” she started as she heard the front door close. She stood there in the stairs with a concerned expression on her face.

--

Robin stood on the bridge, looking away, lost in her thoughts and closed her eyes. She breathed the fresh air and sighed as she looked around herself. She reached out to touch the bridge with her hand and stared down at it. So many things happened her, she thought. She didn’t know whether to smile or cry. She hadn’t been here in years – over two long years – yet it still felt the same. Well, slightly different, now that she was standing on it alone. But, it still felt like yesterday.

-------------

Boxcar
Robin: “One night, I was on this bridge, right. And I met this guy…And he changed my life.”
Jason: “Wow, what an amazing coincidence. I was on this bridge…And I met this girl…And she gave me mine.”

---------------

Wild Swan
R: You know, every time I want to quit, every night when I'm lying there holding my pillow (she laughs), instead of you, I just think about when you said that we're a part of each other. (she turns to look at Jason and they hold hands) I couldn't do this without you.
J: I promise, I'll always be waiting for you.
R: I promise, I'll always come back.
-----------------
Bridge
Jason: "You deserve a chance at everything you want. Everything. To be a doctor. To be a mother. To be a wife."

Robin: "Someone else's wife." (They look at each other)

Jason: "I guess.....if you met a guy in Paris," (Robin smiles) "I'll hate his guts and probably want to kill him" (Robin laughs) "but as long as he makes you happy."

Robin: "I hope you find someone.....who accepts you.....and doesn't try to control you to keep you safe. Who knows? It might even be me in 10 years or 2. I'm not asking you to wait. We don't belong together now. But what changed could someday change again.......Maybe not."

Jason: "I don't know. If a girl likes me and wants to sleep with me, I probably will. I might even like her. But," (looks at Robin) "I don't see how I could love her....." (Jason's voice trembles) "she wouldn't be you." (Robin looks at him, smiles) "Robin you made me. You gave me everything I have inside." (crying) "You said you couldn't love your life until I walked in it. Well, I couldn't love at all until you taught me." (Robin crying) "And now I know.....and I almost wish I hadn't, because it hurts to much to lose you. It's worse than anything I ever felt."

Robin: "Jason." (grabs his hand) "You're not losing me. You can't. Everything I'm moving toward.....the future. Even if I find it with another person, I'll always know that you gave it to me. You were right. We're part of each other." (Jason nods his head)

-----------------

Robin stared into the distance and shook her head, upset, almost angry, when she heard footsteps approaching. She closed her eyes, never turning around to face the intruder. She would have recognized these footsteps anywhere. After a few seconds, she turned her head and saw Jason standing there, staring at her with an expressionless face. Their eyes met and they simply both stayed there. Silent and immobile.

-----------------

Alright so let it all out my friends! :) What did you think? I'm a feedback junkie so don't hold anything back, good or bad.

Andrea

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