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Date Posted: 20:32:21 06/06/01 Wed
Author: Andrea
Subject: Dance With Life -- chapter 4

Here we go with Chapter 4. I hope you guys still enjoy.



CHAPTER 4 –

In that instant, the world could have stopped turning and neither one of them probably would have noticed. Jason simply stood there, and for the first time in a long time, he didn’t know what to do.

Robin held his stare, pondering how she should act in front of him for a while, but she gave up. There was no acting in front of Jason. He knew better than that.

Instead, Robin turned her back on him and stared in front of herself.

“I didn’t think you would come here.” She spoke, sincerely.

“I didn’t think I would find you here.” He replied as he just stood there, not even taking one step forward and not one step backwards either.

There was an awkward silence after his voice trailed off and Robin frowned slightly as she registered the meaning of his words. Why was she here? Why had she come to this place again? Most importantly, why was she not leaving? These questions bumped into one another in her head as she finally turned around to face Jason again. He could see she’d been crying. There had always been this look in her eyes whenever she was sad or upset about something. A certain innocent, childlike feature would suddenly appear in her eyes slowly. Jason almost surprised himself at how well he remembered that. It was striking at this very instant. He could see it now, but this time it was a bit different. He couldn’t quite figure out if she was upset because of him or because of something else. Not that he would have blamed her for either of those. So he just stared, silently.

“I was just about to leave.” Robin started as she examined his face closely.

“You don’t have to.” Jason spoke in his usual, even tone. “It’s a public bridge.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not staying.” She said as she looked at him straight in the eyes.

“Robin…” he said softly but she didn’t let him finish.

“You won’t have to look at this face any more than you already have.” She said, trying to control her voice as best as she could.

The words had escaped her mouth before she could even attempt to hold them back. She lowered her eyes momentarily, remembering a time when she probably would have apologized. But not now. Not anymore.

Jason didn’t move when she started walking away. At least, not initially. After she passed him by, he turned around quickly.

“Why did you come here?” he asked in a calm, almost friendly voice.

Robin stopped walking at the sound of his voice. Was she ready for this? She wasn’t sure. She knew why she had come here and she knew she hadn’t been following her brain either. Robin couldn’t remember a time when she and Jason had fought. Yes, they’d fought like everyone else, but what she couldn’t remember was a time when they really, really fought like all those other couples out there. The thought of Jason raising his voice while arguing with her had almost never crossed her mind. She didn’t want tonight to be the first either.

She looked down at the floor in front of her while Jason waited closely behind her for an answer. She took a deep breath and finally turned around and looked at him.

“I wanted to thank you.” She said in a slightly detached tone.

Jason paused for a second.

“You didn’t know I would be here.” He reminded her quietly.

“Exactly.” She said softly, almost not wanting to say it out loud.

Jason looked at her, memorizing everything that had changed about her. A part of his brain was shouting at him to keep a stoned face while another part was just…what’s the word he was looking for? Surprised? Shocked? Happy? Relieved. Another part of him almost felt relieved to see Robin standing on that bridge and for the life of him he couldn’t really pin point why.

“I know that the last thing you wanted was to see me, so this was my way,” she explained softly. “It was my way of thanking you.”

“What for?” Jason asked as Robin moved back towards the bridge.

“For helping my mother.” Robin explained. She looked at his expressionless face. “You didn’t have to do that, but you did.”

“She looks like she would have been fine even without my help.” Jason said, referring to Anna.

“She’ll be happy to hear that.” Robin couldn’t help but smile secretly.

They both paused, standing there, side by side, in awkward silence. Silence had never been awkward between them before. But things had changed. Jason wasn’t so angry anymore, and Robin knew that. Time had erased anger, but it had created awkwardness, and neither one of them really knew how to deal with it.

“I didn’t think you came here anymore.” Robin finally confessed.

“I usually don’t.” Jason said as he turned his eyes away from her. “It hurts too much.” He added and then pondered his words. “But I guess it doesn’t matter because it hurts anyway even when I’m here.”

Robin swallowed back her emotions with difficulty.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have asked.” She confessed out loud as neither of them looked at one another. “It’s none of my business why you are or aren’t here.”

Jason’s eyes closed at the sound of her words. He could feel the tiny bit of anger that resided in her voice. He could notice it because maybe that same bit of anger resided in his. He wasn’t sure. All he knew is that he didn’t mean to.

“I didn’t think you would ever come here either.” He said as he took a deep breath and looked away.

Robin shook her head as she looked around herself.

“Why?” she asked rather coldly. “Because of you?” she added with a frown.

“No.” he denied, a bit taken aback by her sudden change of tone.

Robin forced a fake smile as she shook her head and ran her hands through her hair.

“You know, it’s funny,” she started softly, “because, I had this bridge before you. I came here before, and yet,” she said as she paused momentarily. “Yet, I can’t remember how to stand on this bridge…without you.” She whispered as tears filled her eyes.

Jason stayed silent as he watched her quickly wipe those tears away. She turned to him and laughed, one of those fake and forced laughs he’d heard so often from Sonny in the past.

“You want to know the real reason, Jason? You want to know the real reason why I came here tonight?” She said in a challenging voice, but she didn’t let him say anything. “I was sitting on my couch, with my mother,” she started as her eyes filled with tears again, “and she told me how brave and strong she thought I was and how grown up I was…And I just couldn’t bring myself to tell her that I wasn’t. I didn’t know how.” Robin confessed as her voice broke even though she tried to hide it. “And I came here because you know what?” she said louder as Jason just stood there a bit taken aback. “Because I miss not having to pretend that I am. And I got scared. It was so easy with you…” she finally said and paused as she looked at his eyes. For the first time in a long time she saw glimpses of the old Jason in those eyes.

There was a long silence after Robin’s words were spoken. Then Jason leaned against the bridge and spoke in a kind tone.

“I came here one, with Elizabeth Webber.” He recalled out loud. “I thought that if I came here it would be easier.” He said and then stopped.

“Was it?” Robin asked, softly.

Jason turned to look at her and his heart stopped beating for a split-second.

“She wasn’t you.” He whispered and then turned away from her again.

“Is it easier now that it is me?” she asked from a distance.

They looked at each other and their eyes met. For a moment, time stood still.

“I’m not sure.” Jason answered, knowing perfectly well that he couldn’t lie to Robin. And that was the truth. He wasn’t sure.

Robin paused and then lifted her eyes to look at him.

“How did we end up here?” she asked out loud.

“I don’t know.” He answered.

There it was again. That awkward silence. The wind started blowing and Robin started getting cold.

“Are you cold?” he asked as he stepped towards her.

“I should get home.” She said, never leaving his eyes.

Robin turned around and slowly started to walk away when Jason called out to her.

“I’m glad you’re mother is fine.” He finally spoke. “I remember how much you missed her.”

“You do, huh?” Robin said kindly.

“I remember everything.” He said as his voice trailed off into the darkness.

Robin gave him one last look and then lowered her eyes. She paused briefly as if she was going to say something, but she didn’t. She turned around and left.

-------------------

So? I'm a feedback junkie so once again, just tell me what you thought? I hope this lived up to the expectations because I wrote this in about an hour (I was in a rush) So let me know if you still want more.

Andrea

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