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Date Posted: 07:52:26 06/14/01 Thu
Author: Andrea
Subject: Dance With Life -- Chapter 6


Chapter 6 –

Robin and Anna turned around just in time to see the car speeding towards them. Robin felt her mother’s strong and bare hands grab her shoulders and push her out of the way just in time so that Robin would be merely brushed by the car.

Everything seemed to happen in some sort of slow-motion movie. Robin felt the rocky ground pound against her face as she was thrown out of the way. She didn’t have time to process the pain she intensely felt on her bleeding forehead, nor the deep cuts on her legs. The only thing that she managed to grasp was the shattering and screeching sound of tires, and then that frightening sound she wished she’d never heard even as it occurred. A body being dropped savagely on the ground. Suddenly, she couldn’t even remember how to breathe. Her heart literally stopped and she managed to turn around, grabbing her forehead with both hands. Her eyes frantically searched the night until they fell upon Anna’s motionless body.

“Mom…” Robin barely let out of her throat. “Mom.” She repeated, louder and clearer.

She used all the strength in her being to get up. In this endless slow-motion maze, she ran towards her mother. Anna was lying on the ground bleeding from the head and from serious wounds in her sides – among other things.

“Mom?!?” Robin repeated in a panic as she finally reached Anna. “Oh my God…” those three small words escaped Robin’s throat like sharp knives. “Mom? Can you hear me?? Mom!”

Robin bent down beside Anna and placed her hands on Anna’s shoulders to turn her around but stopped herself. She noticed the blood tripling down her own hands and she automatically jerked away as a frightened look came across her face.

“Mom…” she said once again, trying to get a reaction out of Anna. “Somebody help me! I need help!” she shouted at the top of her lungs as her eyes filled with tears.

“Robin!”

Robin turned around at the sound of the familiar voice. She saw Jason running towards them as fast as he could.

“Jason…” Robin managed to let out when he finally reached them.

“Robin…. Are you okay?” he quickly inquired, concerned, as he reached to touch her face.

“Don’t touch me.” She immediately told him as she tried to remain calm. “Help her…” she added in a dramatically pleading tone. “…I can’t…You have to stop the bleeding…” she literally begged of him as fear grew in her eyes.

Jason rushed to Anna’s side and kneeled beside her. He gathered her into his arms and started doing everything he could to stop the bleeding.

“Do you have your cell phone?” Robin hurriedly asked him.

“In my pocket, here.” He said, out of breath as he held on tight to Anna’s body.

Robin didn’t wait for him to hand it to her. She bent over his shoulder and reached down in his jacket, leaning against him momentarily. She grabbed the cell phone and quickly dialled 9-1-1, never leaving her mother out of her sight. Her voice was trembly and heart shattering as she spoke.

“They’re on their way…” she informed him after she hung up. “How is she doing?” she breathed out as her heart pounded in her chest.

She stayed a few feet away, unable to bring herself too close. Her hands were shaking as if she had no idea what to do with them. She stared intently as Jason kept trying to stop the blood.

“You need to…” she started saying, feeling so helpless and useless at that moment.

She stopped herself, unable to add anything more. She brought one of her hands to her face, trying to take deep breaths and remain as calm as possible. Her eyes were fixed on Anna’s face. The sirens of the ambulance resounded in the night when they arrived, but Robin didn’t even hear them. She didn’t even hear Jason calling her name.

“What?” She absently inquired, turning to look at him.

“Did you touch her?” Jason asked her again.

“No. I…yes. But, I didn’t get any blood on her….I….” she babbled, unable to think straight.

She paused, physically restraining herself from pacing around Jason. She kneeled beside him and looked back and forth between Jason and Anna.

“Jason…” He heard her say in that familiar, concerned tone.

He looked up to her with an expression that did absolutely nothing to reassure her.

--

The elevator’s doors slid open as Anna was rushed in. A worried Robin and a blood-covered Jason followed. As soon as Bobbie spotted them, she rushed towards Robin.

“No. I’m not leaving her.” Robin said determinedly as Anna was wheeled into surgery.

“Robin…” Bobbie started, taking Robin’s arm softly.

“No.” she protested. “Let me go in there. I need to be with my mother….” She added.

“Robin, you can’t go in there.” Bobbie said, soothingly and paused. “She’s in good hands.”

Robin took a deep breath and finally nodded, glancing occasionally at the doors behind which Anna had been taken.

“You need to be checked up too…” Jason added from behind, in a rusty voice, as if he hadn’t spoken in years.

“I’m fine.” Robin said in a stronger voice than she actually expected. Her eyes then met his and a softer expression came upon her face. “She has to be okay…” she whispered as her eyes filled with tiny tears.

“I’ll let you know as soon as I have more details. I promise.” Bobbie promised as Alan made her sit in a chair nearby, carefully.

--

Minutes went by so slowly; they felt like days. All the while, a frightening thought kept haunting Robin’s mind. The idea of losing her mother once again nearly paralysed her. She couldn’t allow herself to even think like that right now.

Tired of waiting around for some news, Robin stormed out of the emergency room. She needed some air. She needed some space. She found herself on the roof of the hospital, under the pouring rain. The bandage on her forehead became soaking wet as Robin just stood there, taking a deep breath. She stared into the distance as the rain showered on her head. She couldn’t distinguish which were raindrops and which were tears at this point.

She braced herself and lowered her head slowly. Just then, she felt a warm hand softly land on her shoulder. She turned quickly to look at the company she was finding herself with. Her eyes grew even more vulnerable as she stared at Jason. He didn’t speak a word at first. He simply looked at her, concerned maybe, or maybe simply curious. Robin couldn’t really depict the look in his eyes. His face seemed softer than usual. After a few seconds, she finally looked away as he stood there by her side. They both looked straight in front of themselves, watching the rain fall for a moment.

“If you’re here to tell me to go back inside, you can save your breath.” Robin caught herself whispering even before she could stop herself.

“I’m not.” Jason softly replied. “You’ve never needed anyone to tell you what to do. I know that.” He added, glancing at her. “But,” he said, hesitating for a few seconds, “it is pouring rain.” He pointed out.

“I don’t really care.” She replied, softly.

Jason stayed silent. This instant suddenly felt so familiar to both of them. Robin couldn’t help but find a certain comfort in Jason’s silences. It was like old times – at least for a little while.

“I can’t lose her…” she whispered, emotionally, as she finally turned to face him.

“You’re not.” Jason said reassuringly.

“I couldn’t do anything…” she finally spoke as her voice broke Jason’s heart. “All of a sudden it was like…” she began and then stopped herself.

Jason waited but Robin couldn’t bring herself to finish her sentence.

“Like what?” he asked, gently.

Robin paused and looked at him straight in the eyes.

“Like you.” She said, feeling her eyes well up with tears. “That night you got shot in our living room…” she said, remembering how it felt like to be unable to help him. “I couldn’t help you and tonight I couldn’t help her.”

“You helped a lot more than you imagine.” Jason told her in a shaky voice.

They both paused for a moment and Jason felt Robin’s heart break beneath his eyes.

“I can’t lose her…not now. I just can’t.” she whispered as she let the tears flow under the rain. “I lost her once, and my dad. And then it was Stone…and you…” she added tearfully. “I can’t lose any more…”

“You never lost me.” Jason said instantly.

“I did.” Robin rectified in a gentle tone.

Jason paused and looked intently in her eyes. She looked strong but he knew she was breaking up inside. If it felt as bad as it did for him, he couldn’t imagine the pain she was in.

“The only way you could have lost me was if I had died.” He told her in a caring voice.

Robin looked at him and then smiled sadly.

“The only way I lost you was because you let me.” She whispered as her heart broke in pieces at the sound of her own words.

“I know…” he whispered, in a barely audible voice.

“Then why are you here now?” she asked in a heart shattering voice.

By the time she had finished her sentence, both, Robin and Jason were in tears. Jason didn’t answer her.

Inside my skin
There is this space...
It twists and turns
It bleeds and aches


He simply moved closer, cupped her face with his hands and stared into her eyes. The rain was pouring down their heads but they didn’t seem to care. The emotional stare seemed to last eternally, though it only lasted mere seconds. Jason then leaned down and let his lips brush against hers, softly at first.


Inside my heart
There's an empty room.
It's waiting for lightning;
It's waiting for you


The heartbreaking kiss quickly grew more passionate and Robin found herself kissing him back with all her heart.


I am wanting, and...
I am needing you
To be here
Inside the absence of fear


The kiss left them both breathless and Robin finally pulled away slightly and rested her forehead against his. She closed her eyes as an invisible tear rolled down her cheek. Jason emotionally held on to her, never wanting to let her go. Robin reached her arms up and placed her hands over his and slowly took his hands off of her face. All through the gesture, her heart pounded in her chest. When she looked into Jason’s eyes, she saw the pain. She saw the love and she almost wish she hadn’t seen it.

“I can’t…” she whispered, emotionally. “I’m sorry. I just…I can’t.” She added in a shaky breath. “I’m sorry.” She merely mouthed again as she pulled away from him.

She looked at him one last time and walked away from him, back into the building, leaving him standing in the rain.


Muscles and sinew
Velvet and stone...
This vessel is haunted
It creaks and moans


“I’m sorry too.” He whispered to himself as he watched her disappear behind the door.


My bones call to you
In a separate skin.
I make myself translucent
To let you in, boy...

--

Inside, Robin walked into a poorly lit room and her heart nearly stopped as she saw her mother lying on a bed, unconscious. She slowly walked towards the bed, in complete silence and pulled up a chair to sit by her side. Her eyes travelled to Anna’s bruised face and Robin closed her eyes in pain.


I am wanting, and...
I am needing you
To be here
Inside the absence of fear


She slowly reached for her mom’s hand and held it tight with both her hands. She bent her head forward, breaking down in tears and kissed her mother’s fingers.

There is the splendor of this
Secret inside of me
And it knows that you're no stranger,
You're my gravity

She stayed there, in the dark, holding her mother’s hand as the night slowly, but surely, passed them by.

My hands will adore you
Through all darkness, and they will
Lay you out in moonlight
And reinvent your name

Jason stood outside the door, soaking wet, as he watched over her still.


For I am wanting, and...
I am needing you
To be here...
I need you near...
Inside the absence of fear.

Song credits: Jewel – Absence of Fear

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