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Subject: Is my story good?


Author:
Olivia
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Date Posted: 09:11:19 06/06/05 Mon

Hi. Ok, my friends say that this novel I'm writing is good, but I'm not sure if they're just saying it or not. Can you tell me? Here's an exert (oh, by the way, her mom left when she was four and lives in California. Fiona lives in Manhattan):

July 27th Tuesday:
Speaking of parents, my mom called for the first time in a year. I looked at the Caller ID. The caller was unknown, so I assumed that it was a telemarketer. I picked it up and said:

Me- Whatever it is, I don't want it. (I fully expected some man to rant on about how we needed toner).
Caller- You still live in that dump? (At this point, I sorta figured it wasn't a telemarketer)...
Caller-This is Lily Walker.
Me- MOM?
Mom- Oh, hello,um, Zoe?
Me- It's Fiona. Why are you calling?
Mom- I can't call my own family now? I'm coming for a visit.
Me- Um, Mom? I don't think Dad would like that. (Especially not after he burned all of her pictures after she left. I don't remember the blaze, but I do remember Play-Do after my dad got arrested for burning stuff inside an apartment. I ate the whole tub thingy of the red. Also quite a lot of the blue.)

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