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Date Posted: 01:16:49 04/22/11 Fri
Author: asiacheetah
Author Host/IP: ppp-71-128-204-48.dsl.sndg02.pacbell.net / 71.128.204.48
Subject: Chapter 1 Betrayal – Part 4
In reply to: asiacheetah 's message, "Trust is Never Easy - episodic" on 01:00:19 04/22/11 Fri

This chapter touches slightly on: Darkness Visible, First Mission, Soul Sacrifice, Not Was, Double Date, Fuzzy Logic, Old Habits, Inside Out

Chapter 1 Betrayal – Part 4

The next few months went by and that little seed of doubt started to wither away. Nikita seem to be herself again. True she was more circumspect about voicing her misgivings, but the core of her was essentially the same.

I was proud of her for insisting that we take Peter and Sasha with us, even though we were headed straight into the war zone. I know I surprised her when I acquiesce to her demand. I couldn’t tell her that Sasha big innocent eyes reminded me too much of Adam to allow me to leave her behind.

I wasn’t surprised when she fought to ensure the survival of Viscano. However, I was astonished she didn’t know if I was truly ruthless or pretending to be ruthless. She’s observed my actions and my manipulation of her many times over the last 3 years. How could it come as a surprise to her that I’ve had to adapt and become ruthless in order to survive Section.

I wasn’t surprised when she tried to cover for Terry. That was Nikita at her core, the need to protect the innocent. What was more innocent than an unborn baby? That she thought I might have been the father of Terry’s baby showed me how little she knew of me still.

I have no recollection of when I lost my memories. From what I gathered from her few words, mission tapes, and from Walter, Nikita had covered for me to save me from cancellation. Whatever I had said or done in those 3 short days impacted Nikita’s view of me and how she behaved toward me. Her dealings with me became more tender as well as distant at the same time. I was afraid to ask her and find out what caused the change.

The next few months were a nightmare and I was on edge the entire time in fear that Nikita’s earlier despondency and death wish might return.

The first blow was dealt by David Fanning, a target we had both believed dead. I didn’t like how ruthlessly I had to manipulate Lisa to get her to come with me. I anticipated that Nikita would be able to break free from David, but I don’t deal in chance, only what I can control personally. I could deliver Lisa as David demanded, so I did. It shook Nikita once again about how ruthless I could be.

The second blow was when Section kidnapped and forced Greg Hillenger into service. It rang too closely to her own incarceration. Having a hand in personally tricking him and forcibly recruit him into Section against his will made it harder on her still.

Madeline was testing Nikita when she assigned her to be Formitz’ point of contact. Knowing about his extracurricular activities, I was sure she would break Section protocol and ensure a trip into the abeyance pool. How she restrained herself from killing him outright I’ll never know. I was proud of her when she managed to circumvent Section decree and rid the world of Formitz once and for all.

That insistent little kernel of doubt began to worm its way into my consciousness.

When Section was under attack by a fast spreading virus, we were left outside of it and for once completely unsupervised. The entire night in the mission van as we wait to hear news of the escalating situation back at HQ, I was running scenarios in my head on how to get Nikita free. I knew she was under a lot of strain from the events in the recent months. Had this been Nikita one year ago, she would not have hesitated to cut and run. She knew I would stay and try to save as many as I could. However, after voicing a half-hearted question of leaving, she went about trying to find a solution.

I tried to tell myself her action was the result of genuinely caring for some of the people in Section, namely Walter and Birkoff. However, the difference a year made was too glaring to go past my notice.

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  • Chapter 1 Betrayal – Part 5 -- asiacheetah, 01:20:00 04/22/11 Fri
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