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Date Posted: 01:13:52 04/22/11 Fri
Author: asiacheetah
Author Host/IP: ppp-71-128-204-48.dsl.sndg02.pacbell.net / 71.128.204.48
Subject: Chapter 1 Betrayal – Part 3
In reply to: asiacheetah 's message, "Trust is Never Easy - episodic" on 01:00:19 04/22/11 Fri

This chapter touches slightly on: Mandatory Refusal, Half Life

Chapter 1 Betrayal – Part 3

Trust will get you killed in Section.

Sometimes I want to trust Nikita. I want to believe her when she told me to trust her and then proceed to back that up by saving my life numerous times. Sometimes I want so badly to place my trust in someone. However, a life lived in Section had ingrained a deep well of paranoia in me. So much so that I don’t think I can even if I tried.
I wanted to trust her when she tried to tell me of Madeline’s kidnapping and when Operations sent all of Section after me. I know that had she not interfered and broke Section protocol, I would be dead and so would Madeline.

I wanted to trust her when she asked me about Rene. I couldn’t break the force of habit and then she handed Rene over to Section. The seed of doubt grew even more when she did that. Sure she had just witness Rene attempting to blow up a museum courtyard filled with children. However, it wasn’t like Nikita to follow the Section dogma and blindly hand him over.

She said next time I should try talking to her. But when have I ever openly shared my thoughts and fears to her, other than that night on the boat when all my guards were down.

Her remark had stung. It occured to me she knew so little about me. After 3 years I have never opened up to her. I told her about Rene partly to voice my ambivalence of what Section wanted me to do, and also in the event I failed she would know a little about me. So that when I’m gone, someone in the world would know who I truly was.

She saved me from myself again and like the drowning man that I am I clung to my belief in her goodness, of her honesty.

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  • Chapter 1 Betrayal – Part 4 -- asiacheetah, 01:16:49 04/22/11 Fri
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