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Date Posted: 16:50:46 01/23/04 Fri
Author: bliss
Subject: love

I had a crush in fourth grade named kyle, and I've
had a crush on him for five years sence. We went out
in fourth grade, and he said when I walked in that
room, 'it was like love at first sight', his fourth grade
saying. I left that school later, and we had went out
for a month. I really liked him, and I think he really
liked me. I was kind of wierd, and was little so I
kinda pushed him jokingly cuz my uncle and I used to
hang-out and wrestle, and I wasn't used to relationships
of coarce, being only in fourth grade. So I left for
two years and came back in 7th grade to see him, he came
up to the table I was sitting at and said hi, while this
girl annie, really didn't like me because she liked kyle.
Well we didn't talk much, we sat in class the first day
of junior highschool, and we had to say stuff about
ourselves. Kyle said he liked skateboarding, his favorite
thing to eat was gummie bears, and a couple other things.
I said I liked skateboarding too and snowboarding, and
how I old I was, and I saw him outa the corner of my
eye smiling. Well, he went out with annie for a while,
they didn't go out for long. 8th grade came around, lots
of chaos. I always tried to impress him, I'd run around
the halls with my guy friends, chris, matt, scott, and
mike. I threw eggs at the wall, knowing he was right around
the corner, and he was and he knew it was me. I heard later
in 8th grade that he had a crush on me in 7th grade.
Whenever I'd pass him in the halls, our eyes would meet.
At times I'd stop and panic, my legs felt bloodshot,
that kind of bloodshot where all your blood has left
your legs and you feel like dropping to the floor, as your
heart leaps, but still sinks. My eyes wide open, my heart
BEATING OUT MY RIB CAGES, and yeah, filled with this love
kinda feeling, and me smiling, just standing there, like
a bit of an idiot, but .. butterflies... I felt that
most everytime I saw him, and still do a little bit.
My friend chris dragged me down the halls, and we'd
wrestle around, and he'd just watch, kyle would.
9th grade- well, forget it, I'm not there right now.
I went to alaska, and chris told kyle I wanted to keep
in contact with him, and kyle asked where I had gone
and he had wondered where I went. Chris said that
I was in alaska, and he said, "really??"
I was surprised to even hear that he did wonder where
I was. I don't know too much about how things are
going because I don't really go to that school right now,
I got back from alaska after 6 months of being there,
stupid hell, but .. I'm back, got back a couple days
ago. I've seen kyle every now and then, I saw him smiling
today as he walked out the door, walked right past me.
but I think he knows I'm here... I don't know...
I don't know anymore, I just hope I get to see him
at this teen center, I don't think about him all the
time, but every now and then, it's not obbseession, but
of coarce your going to think about that one person
in your life that makes you go crazy.

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