| Subject: Writer's Block 403 |
Author:
Nikita507
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Date Posted: Friday, September 17, 06:59:19pm
In reply to:
Nikita507
's message, "Writer's Block 403+" on Friday, September 17, 06:55:52pm
Michael had caught Nikita slamming her way into the apartment while he jogged to catch up to her. He rubbed his hands through his hair as he slowed down his jog and wondered what had Nikita so upset.
He heard about what Carla and Oak were doing in the mess hall from Walter. It wasn’t acceptable at all. But Nikita usually had always found a way to de-escalate situations like this one between Carla and Oak without removing the staff from the mess hall. Michael had watched her just pull a chair up to the table to talk to the girls about how camp was going and to crack some jokes to get thru the meal before pulling the staff members to the side without the girls knowing.
Michael had always been amazed with how at ease Nikita made the situation.
Nikita ordering Oak and Carla out and then proceeding to yell at them when they were still within distance of the mess hall just wasn’t the woman that he knew.
Michael opened up the door and looked around in the silence. “Kita?”
“Go away,” Nikita demanded from the bed and Michael turned and slowly closed the door. He felt like he was stepping into an alien world. The tension was just something he could feel just entering the apartment. “You know that I can’t go away…”
Michael turned and saw Nikita curled up on the bed. He sat at the foot. “Care to tell me what happened at the mess hall?”
“Oak is a fucking idiot and Carla is a bitch,” Nikita declared as she didn’t look at Michael. Michael was stunned by Nikita’s language and waited to recover from his reaction before speaking. If he reacted as his gut had, he would just upset Nikita more.
“You like Oak, Kita. And Carla… you said that she was pretty good,” Michael pointed out as he kicked his shoes off before shifted all the way onto the bed, looking at his wife as she clutched the blanket and then unclutched it. “Then tell me not to go to the camp anymore.”
“Why would I do that?” Michael questioned as he shook his head back and forth, finding it impossible to follow Nikita’s thoughts right now.
“If I was wrong about them and they are all so great… then I was the wrong one. Get rid of me,” Nikita lifted her head to declared. Michael reached out and touched Nikita’s foot. “I don’t think you are upset at them….”
“They were bickering, fighting and belittling each other in the mess hall in front of a table of girls that look up to both of them. That is unacceptable, unprofessional and just wrong!” Nikita’s voice rose to almost a shout without any warning. She was so very upset.
Michael stood up and moved to his side of the bed and sat down to be closer to his wife. “What else is going on, Kita?”
“Ruining camp for the girls?” Nikita questioned and Michael shook his head from side to side. “You just aren’t this way… I know you. You don’t get upset like this.”
Nikita turned her back on Michael and pulled her legs up closer to her chest. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Michael touched Nikita’s back and he moved closer to Nikita when she didn’t move back into his arms. Michael placed his chin on Nikita’s arm and he sighed. “Kita… is it the time that I’m spending at the house?”
“No,” Nikita shook her head slightly from side to side and Michael could almost hear tears in Nikita’s voice. His stomach sunk and he felt acid rising from inside. “Kita… tell me.”
Michael placed a hand on her hip and Nikita rolled away with a groan. “Please, don’t touch me.”
“I want to comfort you… I’m not making a move on you,” Michael chuckled. Nikita turned around and her face instantly became ravaged with tears. Michael blinked his eyes as he now knew what was going on. He waited for Nikita to talk, but she dropped her head and hid her face into the pillow. “Tell me.”
“No,” Nikita huffed as her face was still in the pillow.
“It’s ok, Kita. Tell me why you pulled away,” Michael rubbed Nikita’s arms. He just sensed that if he said the words that it could just make Nikita more upset and frustrated. He had worried about this but he didn’t realize it was going to be like this.
“I have cramps,” Nikita lifted her face away from hiding in the pillow, but not looking at Michael. She closed her eyes as she felt his hand squeeze her elbow. “I… I started… I’m menstruating…”
“It’s ok, Kita,” Michael whispered and Nikita shook her head from side to side. “I’m not pregnant.”
Michael pulled Nikita into his embrace as she cried. Right now, words weren’t needed. She needed to physically feel him there for her. Michael had feared that Nikita was expecting to become pregnant the first month so badly that it would hit her hard, but in ways he didn’t expect it to be like this. He expected Nikita to be slightly blue, but she was so upset that she was taking it out on Oak and Carla when she saw them doing something wrong in front of the girls.
After a long amount of time, Nikita’s tears eased some and Michael pulled away and cupped her face in his hands. He couldn’t even attempt to dry her tears. “Kita, you knew that it was likely not going to happen this month.”
“But I thought I felt it happen…. All those times… it was like I thought it was happening…” Nikita’s voice cracked as she didn’t lift her face to look at Michael. She sniffled and tried to pull her head away from Michael’s grasp, but Michael continued to cup her face.
Michael stroked her wet cheeks and kissed her forehead. “You are upset about something that will happen for us, Kita. It just didn’t happen this month… which means we can spend more time trying… nothing wrong with that.”
“What if I can’t get pregnant?” Nikita asked as she looked up at Michael. Michael shook his head. “We just stopped using protection, Kita.”
“We were very active during my peak fertile time, Michael. It should have happened. Biologically it should have happened. What if my body can’t get pregnant?” Nikita questioned as she shook her head from side to side.
“Everyone has told you that you are healthy… and there is a good bit of fate in getting pregnant... so maybe you should consider this a gift… more time for us to try…” Michael attempted to ease Nikita’s worries again.
“But when do I start to worry? Do I not worry next month? Or do I not worry until fall? And I had it planned… I get pregnant this month… and it won’t impact camp next year… it’s perfect…” Nikita countered and Michael wrapped his arms around Nikita to hug her. He sighed and rubbed her back. “How about we give it the summer? And how about you not worrying about when the baby would come because we both know that we will be more than ready for whenever a baby becomes part of our lives?”
“I want to start our family,” Nikita declared with strong words that made Michael realize that Nikita could be like this every month that she didn’t miss her period.
It could make for a very long summer.
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