| Subject: Priority Mail 244 |
Author:
Nikita507
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Date Posted: Wednesday, May 18, 10:52:40pm
In reply to:
Nikita507
's message, "Priority Mail 235+" on Tuesday, May 10, 07:21:46pm
Uncertainty was the first thing that Nikita thought of when her eyes snapped open. She looked around and wasn’t sure exactly where she was. For a moment she even thought that she was still inside of Section. But she saw Michael and pulled away with a sigh, her thoughts settling down and whatever dream that she had been having that woke her had vanished from memory, but not from the feeling in her body.
Feeling as if she had been asleep too long, Nikita pushed away from Michael’s body, still trying to take in something that she knew that was important. It took her a while before she turned her attention to Michael.
He was usually a sound sleeper. Rarely did he move, that she knew of, and except when he first lost Adam, he didn’t seem to be disturbed by dreams. But right now, in the dark, something did not seem right as Michael was moving a bit more than Nikita was used to.
Nikita rolled to the side and flipped the low bedside lamp on to look at Michael. He did not wake with the light and it was a very gentle light, practically a nightlight more than a lamp. She turned and saw Michael shift a bit more.
His head tossed to the other side and then back. She saw that the hair closest to his forehead was slightly curled and even a bit damp. Nikita extended a hand out and did not feel a fever on him, but he did seem to be sweating. It was hard not to run screaming for help but something told Nikita that this wasn’t Michael being sick. Rather, he was troubled in his dream.
“It’s ok, Michael,” Nikita whispered as she cupped his cheek and then pulled it away. She felt her stomach churning as she had a feeling that he was being disturbed in his sleep about her. “I’m sorry, Michael.”
Nikita pulled her body up to lean against the headboard as she observed Michael. Slowly she pulled her knees up to her chest and leaned her head down on her knees. Nikita tilted her head so she could look at Michael. “You have a wonderful family with Adam… That bound is so real… no matter what role I played in almost ruining it… it’s there and you love each other…”
Nikita curled her toes up and then pushed them into the mattress. “He is so good, Michael. It’s good that you are strong with him… he could push over most other parents… he is so smart… Adam really keeps me on my toes… and he challenges Jason all the time… I see so much of you in him… I wonder if you would have been able to hold onto that boyish charm that I see in Adam…. I think it’s going to crush a lot of girls… I know that Section took that away from you…”
Nikita rubbed her neck as she swallowed hard. “I was scared… really scared…. Not caused by something that I remembered…. More scared than when I was hurt in the alley… I couldn’t do anything… I had no power…. I had to wait…”
Michael’s mouth parted but he did not wake. She was barely whispering. Nikita was sure that Michael would never hear these words. “I couldn’t think of… being here in the world… if you weren’t… I couldn’t have done that. Never.”
Jerking her head up off of her knees, Nikita swiped at the tears and exhaled. “I know… it’s a reminder to me that I have so much more to fix… to make things right for you… to make up for the things I did… to you… to our daughter…”
Nikita got to her feet and walked to the window. It was still very early in the morning and she was just relieved that no more snow had fallen as she had slept. She would have to go out there again with the crew and try to help others who still had sidewalks to clear or driveways to empty. It was so much easier to think about things like that.
Then Nikita realized that she hadn’t looked at all for her daughter this evening like she was going to do. Nikita looked over her shoulder and knew that Michael needed the rest. He would probably sleep even better with her out of the room. She would only spend a couple hours down the hallway and then she would return to be with Michael when it was time to wake up.
“I love you,” Nikita whispered as she looked at Michael, but also felt something odd when she walked out of the room. It wasn’t quite relief, but it sure seemed like it.
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