| Subject: Priority Mail 93 (The holidays are near... and the muses may be turning things...) |
Author:
Nikita507
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Date Posted: Sunday, December 19, 07:42:37pm
In reply to:
Nikita507
's message, "Priority Mail 88+" on Thursday, December 16, 05:25:15pm
Nikita stood at the window frame, staring out as the sun was just starting to lift from the horizon and to come up in the sky. The scant amount of thin clouds that were in the blue sky were already burning off as the day was showing signs of being beautiful from beginning to end.
Nikita was not up this early because of a bad night. In fact, she was well rested for the first time in a painfully long time. In fact, Nikita was a bit unsure the last time that she felt like she did. Her night had been restful, with not one nightmare. She wasn’t sure if it was the medicine or Michael beside her that had kept the nightmares away, but she was not going to complain.
There was a slight breeze and Nikita pressed the side of her hand against the glass, not sure what the day held for her, but with a sense that she was actually looking forward to it.
Michael had been up for a while and now he exited the bathroom and walked up behind her. He stood beside her, rubbing his hand along her side where she wore one of his t-shirts and a pair of boxers as pajamas. He was so close to her and Nikita exhaled with the touch.
The boat was gently rocking, but that was not noticed as Nikita eased up beside Michael, their naked bodies touching against each other after a night that they lost all thoughts about what should be done and just went with what was real between them. It was tender. It was raw. It was sweet. It was passionate. It was hot. It was bittersweet. It was almost everything to Nikita. Now, her mind started to work again, listing the ramifications for all that had happened and what was yet to come. And the man naked beside her was still an enigma that she felt so much for but she still wasn’t sure what he felt in return. But she felt something when she was beside him, even now when her mind started to plan what had to be done.
“Everything okay?” Nikita asked as she found her voice.
“Fine,” Michael responded succinctly as Nikita had anticipated. Michael was always fine. She was used to that answer, but she was sure that Michael had to be conflicted as they were held up on a beaten up boat in Lyons.
“So, where does Section think you are?” Nikita asked as her eyes darted around as she was unsure. In ways, she wanted to just close her eyes and avoid that part of her life.
“Gathering intel,” Michael answered and Nikita was wondering if that was going to be all that he said. “Why didn't you let me know you were alive?”
Nikita felt pain ripple through her body. If he had asked her that question before they had made love, she wouldn’t think that Michael had the right to ask her that question. But she knew that the previous night was not out of duty. It was what Michael wanted from her. It was something very real. That gave him the right to ask.
“I almost did, once. I don't know why I didn't. I put everything out of my mind. Even the things I didn't want to forget,” Nikita explained as her words were coming faster than she was thinking. She was rambling like Michael often pointed out that she did. Taking a moment, Nikita wanted to tell Michael something profound, something that allowed him to know that it wasn’t easy how she was living, that it wasn’t living. “Do you know for three years all I did was dream about getting out of Section? When I did it wasn't what I'd expected. This isn't freedom.”
Nikita’s voice grew thick and she could only finish with a whisper. “This isn't freedom.”
“You are thinking, Kita,” Michael spoke as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her back against him. Nikita leaned her head back, feeling the vast differences between then and now. “This reminds me of another time.”
“Really?” Michael asked and Nikita looked over her shoulder. “You are thinking the same thing.”
Michael pressed a kiss to Nikita’s neck. “It is nothing like Lyons.”
“We are dressed,” Nikita wryly spoke and Michael chuckled. “It’s prettier here… and we are free… this is freedom, Kita.”
Nikita wasn’t sure what to think that Michael forgot her statement. Michael sighed. “I remember a lot of things too, Kita.”
Nikita smiled and nodded her head. “It is warmer here too.”
“And we have all day to just be together,” Michael added and Nikita grinned. Back on that boat, spending the entire day with just Michael for no other reason was never a possibility. That was the biggest difference. There were possibilities now. The boat in Lyons, there weren’t many possibilities. Things were black and white. Now, the world was so much larger with vivid possibilities.
Nikita felt how Michael was touching her and she felt a twinge of slight regret.
Nikita stepped towards Michael. She tilted her head to look at him. She wasn’t sure what to think. It confused her. But right now, those memories that hurt her so badly for the past months did not take center stage in her mind. It was Michael who was center stage in her mind right now. “You… feel good.”
Michael didn’t realize that he was still stepping towards her. Just weeks ago he never thought that he would see Nikita again, let alone have her in his own house. She was free from Section One and she was with him. It was his dream come true. He also knew that Nikita’s lack of words didn’t mean that he felt good – it meant that Nikita feels good being near him. It meant so much that he was not causing Nikita more pain.
“Kita…” Michael whispered as he looked at Nikita.
Her body launched forward, with needs and desires that she had not felt in years. She pushed Michael to the side so that his back was against the wall as her hands wrapped around his neck. Nikita’s mouth parted open as it pressed against his lips, urgent and in need. She arched her back into Michael’s body, feeling alive as she touched him.
It was a purely physical reaction that Michael could not stop at first. His lips parted to meet Nikita’s lips, her tongue teasing his into action. Kissing her deeply as he never seemed to have enough time to do. The years apart melted away. That time didn’t matter as their bodies just knew each other.
Nikita ran her hands down Michael’s body and settled them on Michael’s hips. She rolled her legs forward and felt him growing in the pajama bottoms that he had changed into at some point during the night. Michael groaned as Nikita pulled her lips away and looked at him.
It was still a physical reaction that Michael was acting on. The fact that Nikita was kissing him, wanting him, and turning him on almost beyond the point of pleasure. Part of his mind knew that it had to stop, but it did not stop his hands from wrapping themselves around Nikita’s waist and lifting her in order to walk into his bedroom, which was just to the side of where Nikita had smoothly pushed him against the wall. The light was needed as Michael continued to move until he deposited Nikita on the bed.
“Michael…” Nikita rasped as she reached a hand up and allowed her fingers to touch his hair. He was real. This wasn’t one of those rare good dreams that she had when Michael would appear and rescue her. He was here, with her – touching her now.
Michael knelt on the bed, looking down at Nikita. Her hair was spread out around her head. She was a vision that he had ached for so long to see again in his bed. Her hands were pulling him back down to her lips and Michael did not pull away. This interlude was not optimal, but to kiss Nikita, it was making his heart sing and truly have physical acknowledgement that she was still alive.
Her hands pushed at Michael’s thin t-shirt and pushed it over his head. She leaned up and kissed at Michael’s chest. She stayed up at that angle as she dropped her hands to her shirt and pulled it over her head, looking at Michael with desired-filled eyes as she leaned back, trying to call Michael to her.
Michael’s mind kicked in at that moment. This wasn’t right! Giving into his body’s desires, and Nikita’s body’s desire, wasn’t going to make anything better. It would be a temporary escape from the reality where Michael knew nothing about what had happened to Nikita and Nikita was still in a shell.
Abruptly pulling away, Michael shook his head from side to side. “I’m sorry, Kita… I shouldn’t have encouraged this…”
Nikita pulled slightly away from Michael and turned to face him. “Are you ever going to be able to see me in that way again?”
Michael looked at Nikita and blinked in confusion. “What are you talking about, Kita?”
“Will you ever… desire me?” Nikita asked as she wrapped her arms around her waist and backed up. “All damaged… and not me… Will we ever go back to what happened between us… in Lyons… downtime… when it was just us?”
“Of course,” Michael spoke as he studied Nikita. “How can you even think that it wouldn’t happen?”
“It was wrong,” Nikita rasped as she stepped back against. “You pulled away... you said that you shouldn’t have encouraged it… I know that I’m not myself, Michael… but it was when we were together like that… when I was in your arms… that I was sure that I was feeling something real.”
Michael did not allow Nikita to move away any further. Instead, he spanned the distance and took his arms along her arms. “Kita… that was wrong when you first moved in… you really weren’t there and we both know that it wasn’t the right thing for you back then.”
Nikita turned her head to the side. Michael did not like that as he used one hand to guide Nikita to look back at him. “I’ve desired you every moment of every day since I left,” Michael rasped as he stared at where his hand touched her face. “We will have that type of relationship again Nikita. When it is right.”
“I may never be the same person I was in the past… I may never be all there, Michael. I’m damaged.”
Michael shook his head as he smiled. “Kita, you are already back.”
Nikita stared at Michael as her face began to relax as she really heard what Michael had said. She tried to jerk away to protest, but Michael didn’t let her go. “Only the Nikita I grew to love and respect… only that woman would have had the nerve to bluntly ask me when we were going to make love again.”
Nikita licked her lips. “Why wait? I haven’t had… that kind of relationship… since…”
“Neither have I,” Michael whispered as he rubbed Nikita’s arms up to her shoulders. “But we don’t need to rush into this now…. We’ll know when the moment is right to be with each other again in that way.”
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