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Date Posted: 12/23/04 10:18pm
Author: Ned Farley
Subject: (Treat) Christmas Hoedown Transcripts

Since it's Christmas Eve, I figured I'll post the two trancripts from the two Christmas Hoedowns on WL/DL. You be the judge which one was better :)

(Season 6, 1994 season)
UK
Steve Frost:Well I love Christmas, I wish it was every day.
I love Christmas, do ya hear what I say?(giggles)
Sometimes I go up and sometimes I go down
Did you know there was a man called Coco the Clown?

Colin:(makes a nervous gasping noise)I love my Christmas, I love it every year
'Cause I shove food in my mouth, I grin ear to ear
My cholesterol is high-ahhh(faints) [Steve Frost and Tony crack up, Ryan stays in character]

Ryan:I really love Christmas, it's better than the rest
When it comes to holidays you know it is the best.
I like to celebrate I guess I know how it goes (Tony giggles)
That's why I prefer to sleep with a reindeer with a red nose.

Tony:I love Father Christmas, you know he's a hell of a man.
I try to see him once a year, as often as I can
When he comes I do all the locks.
And he comes down the chimney and he fills up my socks!

All:He fills up my socks!

(Season 12, 1999-2000 season)

Brad:I look forward to Christmas each and everyday
But this year I got no presents and I don't know what to say.
I guess that old Santa Claus was nothing but a liar
And there was a funny smell when I lit the fire

Drew:Christmas is a holiday that I really hate
There's nothing about it to which I can relate
So every December 25th I kick off my shoes.
And go down to the deli and hang out with the Jews.

Colin: Up in the North Pole, the elves all went on strike.
Santa didn't care he said "Go on, take a hike!"
Things were horrible that Christmas, it all just turned to poo.
As Shakespeare said "Remember to thyne own elf be true".

Ryan:I love when Santa goes delivers all the toys.
I love to see the smiles on all the girls and boys.
It really is a holiday, a time to pause.
Every Christmas Eve you'll find me (censored) (censored) (censored) [Porking Mrs. Claus].

All:Porking Mrs. Claus!

Happy holidays!

-Ned Farley

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