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Date Posted: 10/26/03 6:29pm
Author: Anita
Subject: That makes sense
In reply to: Bix 's message, "Of course..." on 10/26/03 4:59pm

>I don't argue at all with the fact that a father is
>important, and in today's society it's one of the
>failings of the nuclear family when the father is
>absent.
>
>However, in situations where parents have to be apart
>due to work or what have you, I've seen how much a
>spouse's return can interfere with the smaller family
>unit's daily routine. The wife alone functions as an
>individual, and with kids in tow she takes on both
>roles. In fact, during retirement ceremonies, a
>certificate is presented that credits her for taking
>on both roles of mother and father in her husband's
>absence. (It's kind of funny, 'cause the military
>really hasn't changed it to apply to men whose wives
>retire! Time to update their stuff, huh?)
>
>This is where many families who spend time apart fail,
>actually--the spouse who has been away (male or
>female) has a tendency to walk back into their
>families' lives like he was just down at the local
>bar. After long absences, if they don't re-introduce
>themselves into their own families' routines, the
>person's presence can be more of an intrusion and an
>interruption instead of an enrichment.

I can understand your thoughts. I'm glad that you went into further detail. I didn't have a family member who was in the military but I can imagine that it would be a difficult situation when the father or mother comes back home after serving overseas or in the military. Wow that's neat that the military recognized the wife in the retirment ceremonies. Sometimes it seemed like in the past that a wife's role in the family was taken for granted and it's nice that the military is giving them recognition.

For mothers raising their kids. I think some cases may be the kids were better off without having their Dad around if he had a disruptive behavior like alcholism or abusing the wife or his kids. I suppose that I'm probably not one to say about a two parent family because I don't know by example (my younger years I just had my mom and she wasn't a good mom) just what I observed from other people my age during school who seemed more emotionally secure because of their family environment. I won't go into more detail because it will be tmi for people.

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