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Date Posted: 01:54:09 04/27/01 Fri
Author: Glitzy
Subject: Severe Grossness Hope no-one is eating at time of reading this

FEMALE SOFA
A 500 lb. woman from Illinois was examined in a hospital. During the
examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her armpit, a dime was
found
under one of her breasts, and a remote control was found lodged between
the
folds of her vulva.

PRICKLY PAIR
In Michigan, a man came into the ER with lacerations to his penis. He
complained that his wife had "...a rat in her privates..." and it bit
him
during sex. After an examination of his wife, it was revealed that she
had a
surgical needle left inside her after a recent hysterectomy.

PING PONG ANYONE?
A 20yr old man came into the ER with a stony mass in his rectum. He said
that he and his boyfriend were fooling around with concrete mix, then
his
boyfriend had the idea of pouring the mix into his anus using a funnel.
The
concrete then hardened, causing constipation and pain. Under general
anesthesia, a perfect concrete cast of the man's rectum was
removed...along
with a ping pong ball.

BLIND DRUNK
A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER complaining of severe pain
while
trying to remove his contact lenses. He said that they would come out
halfway, but they always popped back in. A nurse tried to help using a
suction pump, but without success. Finally, a doctor examined him and
discovered the man did not have his contact lenses in at all. He had
been
trying to rip out the membrane of his cornea.

OUCH
A couple hobbled into a Washington state) emergency room covered in
bloody
restaurant towels. The man had his around his waist, and the woman had
hers
around her head. They eventually explained to doctors that they had gone
out
that evening for a romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman
crept
under the table to administer oral sex to the man. While in the act she
had
an epileptic fit, which caused her to clamp down on the man's penis and
wrench it from side to side. In agony and desperation, the man grabbed a
fork and stabbed her in the head until she let go.

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