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Date Posted: 03:03:07 Fri 05/03/04
Author: Cot Death Chris
Subject: Re: Fuck dis shit!
In reply to: D.J Rapid-Fire 's message, "Fuck dis shit!" on 10:50:12 Thu 26/02/04

Rapidfire, you are a complete boon. Successful parody or pastiche requires a complex knowledge of the conventions of a particular genre or artistic style. As the saying goes, immitation is the best form of flattery, and this is true to the extent that often the biggest fans are the best at taking the piss. You are trying to mock something which you are ignorant of and therefore you come accross as a buffoon.

If you really knew your stuff about drum and bass music, or had any respect for that scene at all, you might be able to pick up on the cliches in an innovative manner and use them to comic effect. Even the most diehard fans would probably find you funny. Instead, you confuse the vernacular of the UK garage scene with the haggard rhetoric of mid early-mid 90s gangster rap. If you had your finger on the pulse, you might even know that most of that slang you're attempting to mimmick hasn't been used within that genre since about 1996.

Come on, I don't claim to know a great deal about either scene, but might I suggest you make jokes about the burgeoning student-loan dj scene or the overuse of Coup De Villes in gangster rap lowride conversions which, I gather, is the subject of some laughter among true lowrider enthusiasts.

Knowing 3 types of gun doesn't make you a clever pisstaker. I bet you couldn't even tell the difference between the guns you namedrop if they were pointing at your head. Do you even know why the Glock - by and large an unreliable and inaccurate weapon - even has any favour at all between smalltime gangsters?

In future why not take the piss out of people like yourself? - thick "alt."rock internet dumbasses whose small mindedness and borderline racism makes them condemn a culture they barely understand further than the hackneyed popular media stereotypes of yesteryear.

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Replies:

[> [> Re: Fuck dis shit! -- Pat Bateman, 14:55:48 Fri 05/03/04 [1]

Quite right, Cree$e, Coup De Ville’s are so passé these days in Lowrider circles.

Well, DJ Rapid Fire, you really have impressed everyone and made so many friends. I just hope you’re some young buck who’ll grow out of this childish behaviour and one day become a pillar of society.

I don’t wanna diss you, but can you please answer a few questions for me:

1. Are you, as Cree$e implies, a Student-Loan-DJ?

2. Can you tell me the name of the biggest drum n bass tune so far this year?

3. Who recorded “Warhead”? (That’s too easy)

4. Back in the day, Aphrodite and Mickey Finn did a tune sampling which tv show?

5. Did your dad ever creep into your room late at night when you were little?

6. Jonny L heads up which drum n bass label?

7. What is Photek’s first name and what was his first EP called?

8. Does your mum have regular check ups at the clinic?

9. D-Type is the newest alias of which drum n bass star?

10. Are you gay?

Yeah, answer a few of them and show everyone that you’re at least a little bit clued up. Fucker.


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[> [> Re: Fuck dis shit! -- D.J RAPID FIRE, 09:25:54 Tue 09/03/04 [1]

COT DEATH CHRIS?!!!!! WHAT A FUCKED UP AND SICK NAME YOU GOT! THAT ENT` THE SORT OF THING TO BE CALLIN` YA SELF MAN! A WHITE BOY THINKIN` HIS BLACK IS ONE THING,BUT WHEN THEY GOT A FUCKIN` SICKO NAME AND THEY PREACHIN` TO ME SOME BULLSHIT BOUT HOW THEY RECKON` SHIT IS, THAT JUST TAKES THE FUCKIN` PISS! WHAT THE FUCK IS A STUDENT-LOAN D.J? I AINT BEEN A STUDENT SINCE I LEFT SCHOOL AT 12!!
YOU THINK I DON`T KNOW ME GUNS EH? BELIVE!!! I KNOW ME FUCKIN` GUNS YOU PRICK!

AK47, BIG DIRTY ASSAULT RIFLE FROM KALISHNIKOV IN RUSSIA, FIRES UP TO 150 ROUNDS PER MINUTE,NO-ONE WOULD BE POINTIN` THAT A MY HEAD WHITE-BOY,THAT`S FOR TAKIN` PEOPLE OUT AT DISTANCE!

GLOCK,CHEAP ASS BLACK PISTOL FAVOURED BY COPS IN AMERICA,17 SHOT CHAMBER,THIS WOULD BE POINTED AT YA HEAD,FOR CLOSE RANGE STYLE SHIT,GANGSTA`S FAVOUR THIS SHIT COS THEY`RE FUCKIN CHEAP AND EASY TO GET, I OWN 2 ME`SELF I SHOULD FUCKIN` KNOW!

UZI,THESE ARE THE SHIT, RAPID AS FUCK,THIS IS HOW I GOT ME D.J NAME! HANDY FOR DRIVE BY`S AND SHIT!

I COULD GO ON ALL DAY ABOUT GUNS, COLT,SMITH AND WESSON, BERRETA, BUT I AINT GOTTA PROVE ME SELF TO SOME ONE WITH SUCH A FUCKIN` STUPID NAME, COT DEATH IN INFANTS EFFECTS ENUFF` PEOPLE, IT`S FUCKIN` HARROWING FOR THE MOMS AND DADS AND THAT! BUT YOU TAKE THE PISS OUT OF IT LIKE A PRAT!
DO ME THIS ONE THING, DROP THAT FUCKIN` NAME ELSE I`LL DROP YOU,YOU SILLY CUNT!


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