I know a lesbian who is very sensitive about approaching women she is attracted to. She tells me there is such a thing as "gay-dar", but it's not foolproof. Obviously, she had some bad experiences with lost friendships before she gained this mature sensitivity to another's feelings. -- LJG Discussion board

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Date Posted: 07:42:23 11/01/07 Thu
Author: tlk2vicki
Subject: I know a lesbian who is very sensitive about approaching women she is attracted to. She tells me there is such a thing as "gay-dar", but it's not foolproof. Obviously, she had some bad experiences with lost friendships before she gained this mature sensitivity to another's feelings.
In reply to: Oleander 's message, "QOTD FOR THURSDAY NOVEMBER 1ST" on 06:11:25 11/01/07 Thu

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Not the time nor place - nor the man. Interesting distinction. He recognizes the thrill of the flesh but also knows that it is not a good fit, both for himself and because of Stephan's recent situation with Weber and unacknowledged orientation. I think Stephan at this point in time would be destroyed, his world would be jolted. John loves Stephan but not as a potential lover. There is this moment of physical attraction - the 'ringing' as Brianna terms it in DOA - but that's not a basis for a relationship. John's own fragility here - because he is so upset over Percy's betrayal and lack of judgement as well as his own close call with Percy's fate? (NT) -- kgp, 08:43:18 11/01/07 Thu

I agree in part- but i diagree that John doesn't love him as a potential lover so much as he knows it would not work out. I do think that if Stephan were ever to make overt overtures, John would be game, so to speak. (NT) -- Oleander, 09:46:58 11/01/07 Thu

Hmm, maybe. And maybe i"m projecting but I think John might be a bit gun-shy of a relationship based on physical attraction and not deeper friendship and committment at this point. (NT) -- kgp, 10:03:57 11/01/07 Thu
- I guess this is why I disagreed- because John and Stephan do have a relationship and caring for each other. Think of how this scene ends. (NT) -- Oleander, 10:57:37 11/01/07 Thu
  - They do, agreed, but it's only just begun to reach this level. Prior to this they had regard and liking for each other but the deepening of friendship starts to blossom here. It also makes me wonder a bit about John - is he really that easy? (NT) -- kgp, 12:19:11 11/01/07 Thu
    - LMAO! Well....maybe...John lives in a time where there is no openess and where fear of discovery and all of its implications make even inquiry or demonstrated interest very dangerous. Perhaps in a situation like this, I would be easy too... (NT) -- Oleander, 14:12:05 11/01/07 Thu
      - Take it where you can get it? He certainly seems in a hurry to get his mitts, etc on Percy. (NT) -- kgp, 15:55:48 11/01/07 Thu
        Well, in PM Percy drew him into the bedroom and stretched himself out on the bed. John wouldn't have been human if he could have just turned and walked away from this attractive young man who obviously wanted him. In a situation like John's these offers must have been rare indeed. (NT) -- Jane, 07:16:17 11/03/07 Sat

I honestly think it is Stephan who is feeling the attraction, deliberately forcing occasions for them to be together and giving John his beautiful beloved horse. Stephan was the first to touch John, the first to give him a kiss. It isn't that John is easy, on the contrary. John is worried about Stephan and what could happen to him if he should give in to temptation. I would LOVE to see this relationship develop. I really want John to have at least a taste of what he'd had with Hector even though we know it can't last (because obviously something will happen before John heads out to Jamaica). Still, it'd be nice for John to have someone, even if only for a short time. (NT) -- Jane, 15:46:56 11/01/07 Thu

Do you think Stephan admits to himself what the attration is or is he in denial? or questioning? Is the something with Stephan what drives him to marry Isobel? He could have taken an active part in Willie's life without becoming his uncle by marriage and de facto parent. come to that - how does Willie come to call him Father rather than Uncle? (NT) -- kgp, 15:54:45 11/01/07 Thu
- I think Stephan did try to tell John when he told him the story of the gay German prince. They've been soft footing around the possible next step in their relationship ever since John went to Germany at Stephan's request in Succubus. The Percy/Weber thing was a definite setback, both of them are more fearful and consequently cautious than ever by the end of BOB. (NT) -- Jane, 16:05:39 11/01/07 Thu
  - Did Weber's predicament get Stephan to examine himself? I don't remember Succubus all that well, there was a potential love interst in that fo rJohn but they rode off to battle and nothing came of it, was that Stephan holding onto John's boot just slightly longer than necessary? I'll have to look that up. (NT) -- kgp, 17:13:23 11/01/07 Thu
    - You don't have to look it up, I still have a copy of the quote from Succubus on my computer.... "Stephan�s hand still curled round his calf, hidden under the skirt of his greatcoat. The hand on his leg squeezed briefly and dropped away, sending a small flutter of sensation up Grey�s back. � Sigh..this followed the kiss on both cheeks and the lips that "Grey was obliged to consider it a fraternal embrace, unless and until circumstance might prove it otherwise." (NT) -- Jane, 18:41:01 11/01/07 Thu
      - Sorry to obsess about this, but I am a BIG ol cheerleader for the Stephan and John relationship. I love them both. I would love to see them get together more than just about anything in the books (except maybe Jamie and Willie somehow connecting without total catastrophe) Both situations have the potential to ruin these men I love. I sure wouldn't want Jamie and Willie, or John and Stephan's coming together to cause any of them to lose everything they hold dear..but I sure would like them all to have the joy of a loving relationship they all long for. Well, I admit Willie doesn't even know what he is missing but Jamie, John and Stephan certainly do. (NT) -- Jane, 18:50:46 11/01/07 Thu
      - In PM Staphan was quite demonstrative also but I took it to be an indication of his larger than life persona. John does admire his profile as he is watching the fireworks but there's no real hint of reciprocity of feeling from Stephan. John basically s*** himself all over Stephan's sofa, after all. (NT) -- kgp, 19:09:32 11/01/07 Thu

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