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Date Posted: 08:06:44 02/25/04 Wed
Author: Dr. O.
Subject: I'm not so sure about "mean"
In reply to:
Heather Slotto
's message, ""The Mean Teacher!"" on 12:33:13 02/20/04 Fri
Hi Heather:
Yes, I do think that you're describing a confidence issue, and it's one which is very common to young (and some not-so-young) teachers. I don't think there is anything "mean" about setting and maintaining rules and standards for your students - in fact, I think it's irresponsible not to do so. You have to remember that what you're correcting is the student's BEHAVIOR - not criticizing the student him/herself. For instance, there's a big difference between saying "John, stop acting like that, you jerk." and saying "John, that is unacceptable behavior and won't be tolerated in this class." I hope more people respond to your link; it can be an interesting discussion.
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Re: I'm not so sure about "mean" -- Brian G, 10:45:42 02/25/04 Wed [1]
Heather,
>You have to remember
>that what you're correcting is the student's BEHAVIOR
>- not criticizing the student him/herself. For
>instance, there's a big difference between saying
>"John, stop acting like that, you jerk." and saying
>"John, that is unacceptable behavior and won't be
>tolerated in this class."
I would agree with Dr. O 100%.
Have a clear mental picture of how you expect your students to act. (By the way, there is a BIG difference in "wanting" your students to behave a certain way and "expecting" your students to behave a certain way.) After you (and your students) know the expectations for discipline, formulate a plan for when students do not meet those expectations. Tip: Save the harshest discipline actions for only the most serious cases. In 7 years of teaching at the high school level, I have rarely issued detentions. I have found it much more productive to give the students a set of clear expectations and consequences at the very beginning. I follow the discipline plan religiously throughout the year. The few times I have problems, I handle it in the fashion Dr. O suggests. Tell the student that I am not upset with him/her - I am upset with the behavior. I try to tuck in a compliment if appropriate. "Betty, I really enjoy the way you contribute to the class, BUT your disruptive behavior (be specific) is NOT ACCEPTABLE. You're a good person and I know you can do better." A quiet and private talk with the student (or call to a parent) goes MUCH MUCH further than a hand full of detentions or missed recesses.
Hope that helps.
Good Luck!
Brian G
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Re: I'm not so sure about "mean" -- Josue Perez, 10:38:06 02/26/04 Thu [1]
Well, I got a good chuckle from these responses, cuz they are what I do as well. I wonder who was our teacher???? My favorite speech to start the year off with is, "There will be days that I may yell, or be upset but that is with your actions, not you as a person. I'm not saying you are an awful person and I hate you! I'm saying that your actions are not right, so fix them." Gainning that initial respect from your students is the key to discipline. Once things are bad it's tough to get them to do things as you want them to do. But, you can still let them know that from this day forward things will be this way. Having worked mostly with older kids I know it's easier to "talk" to them. Hopefuly someone will be able to help you with the younger ones. Good luck and don't give up!
Josh
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Re: I'm not so sure about "mean" -- Jessie, 07:06:39 02/08/05 Tue [1]
Hi Heather,
You sound like my sister, she is a very good teacher with a huge heart for children. She enjoys teaching, but finds punishing kids hard. Don't get me wrong, she does it, then is up all night thinking about it. My only expierence is making rules at the beggining of the class, and sticking to them. Do not be afraid of correcting a students behavior. If a child gets away with unhealthy behavior then he or she will keep on behaving this way, in your class and others. Just remember that you are the teacher and you set the rules! Good luck!
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Re: I'm not so sure about "mean" -- Cheryl Bolton, 06:12:57 02/09/06 Thu [1]
I like the idea of telling the students that it is the bahavior that we are unhappy with and not the student personally. I will have to remember to use this, or a form of this when I become a teacher.
I have a similar worry to this one for when I get to the teaching stage. I am a very large person; tall as well as big. I have already experienced having people fear me because of my size. Actually, it was other adults who feared me, not children. My daughter told me when she was in Junior High, that some her teachers were afraid of me. My experiences with children have always been good. Children seem to be able to see inside you, to see the inner child who can relate to them on a one-to-one basis. They know you are nice/fun, even if you are occasionally loud. The children will respond to this, rather than to how loud you are when you teach.
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