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Date Posted: 12:33:13 02/20/04 Fri
Author: Heather Slotto
Subject: "The Mean Teacher!"
Hello Music Eders! In all of my student teaching expiriences I only seem to be troubled by one thing... Im TO NICE!!! I just have a big problem disciplining the children when I know they are doing something wrong. This mostly deals with Elementary Students. It is very difficult for me to raise my voice at all, and then I will appoligise to the student if I tell them something and it isn't their way. Im afraid Im going to be "The Mean Teacher!!" Is it a confidence thing? How can I fix this!!?? Thanks!!
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Re: "The Mean Teacher!" -- Bradley Jayne, 14:18:21 02/22/04 Sun [1]
Ms. Slotto,
I know that I haven't had much experience with student teaching, but I do have a lot of insight when it comes to working with younger children. You need not be "The Mean Teacher," but rather find a medium that puts you somewhere in between. And under NO CIRCUMSTANCES use punishment and then reinforcement afterwards that only confuses your students. We all want our students to "like" us so naturally we want to be nice because in a positive environment more learning occurs. Just be sure to use discretion when you are employing punishment. You don't want to be too mean otherwise you will lose respect and confidence with your students, and you don't want to be too nice otherwise it will be difficult to keep structure in your classroom. I found this website and I thought that maybe you might find it helpful. http://www.educationworld.com/a_curr/curr258.shtml
I sure hope that I was of some help?
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I'm not so sure about "mean" -- Dr. O., 08:06:44 02/25/04 Wed [1]
Hi Heather:
Yes, I do think that you're describing a confidence issue, and it's one which is very common to young (and some not-so-young) teachers. I don't think there is anything "mean" about setting and maintaining rules and standards for your students - in fact, I think it's irresponsible not to do so. You have to remember that what you're correcting is the student's BEHAVIOR - not criticizing the student him/herself. For instance, there's a big difference between saying "John, stop acting like that, you jerk." and saying "John, that is unacceptable behavior and won't be tolerated in this class." I hope more people respond to your link; it can be an interesting discussion.
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Re: I'm not so sure about "mean" -- Brian G, 10:45:42 02/25/04 Wed [1]
Heather,
>You have to remember
>that what you're correcting is the student's BEHAVIOR
>- not criticizing the student him/herself. For
>instance, there's a big difference between saying
>"John, stop acting like that, you jerk." and saying
>"John, that is unacceptable behavior and won't be
>tolerated in this class."
I would agree with Dr. O 100%.
Have a clear mental picture of how you expect your students to act. (By the way, there is a BIG difference in "wanting" your students to behave a certain way and "expecting" your students to behave a certain way.) After you (and your students) know the expectations for discipline, formulate a plan for when students do not meet those expectations. Tip: Save the harshest discipline actions for only the most serious cases. In 7 years of teaching at the high school level, I have rarely issued detentions. I have found it much more productive to give the students a set of clear expectations and consequences at the very beginning. I follow the discipline plan religiously throughout the year. The few times I have problems, I handle it in the fashion Dr. O suggests. Tell the student that I am not upset with him/her - I am upset with the behavior. I try to tuck in a compliment if appropriate. "Betty, I really enjoy the way you contribute to the class, BUT your disruptive behavior (be specific) is NOT ACCEPTABLE. You're a good person and I know you can do better." A quiet and private talk with the student (or call to a parent) goes MUCH MUCH further than a hand full of detentions or missed recesses.
Hope that helps.
Good Luck!
Brian G
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Re: I'm not so sure about "mean" -- Josue Perez, 10:38:06 02/26/04 Thu [1]
Well, I got a good chuckle from these responses, cuz they are what I do as well. I wonder who was our teacher???? My favorite speech to start the year off with is, "There will be days that I may yell, or be upset but that is with your actions, not you as a person. I'm not saying you are an awful person and I hate you! I'm saying that your actions are not right, so fix them." Gainning that initial respect from your students is the key to discipline. Once things are bad it's tough to get them to do things as you want them to do. But, you can still let them know that from this day forward things will be this way. Having worked mostly with older kids I know it's easier to "talk" to them. Hopefuly someone will be able to help you with the younger ones. Good luck and don't give up!
Josh
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Re: I'm not so sure about "mean" -- Jessie, 07:06:39 02/08/05 Tue [1]
Hi Heather,
You sound like my sister, she is a very good teacher with a huge heart for children. She enjoys teaching, but finds punishing kids hard. Don't get me wrong, she does it, then is up all night thinking about it. My only expierence is making rules at the beggining of the class, and sticking to them. Do not be afraid of correcting a students behavior. If a child gets away with unhealthy behavior then he or she will keep on behaving this way, in your class and others. Just remember that you are the teacher and you set the rules! Good luck!
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Re: I'm not so sure about "mean" -- Cheryl Bolton, 06:12:57 02/09/06 Thu [1]
I like the idea of telling the students that it is the bahavior that we are unhappy with and not the student personally. I will have to remember to use this, or a form of this when I become a teacher.
I have a similar worry to this one for when I get to the teaching stage. I am a very large person; tall as well as big. I have already experienced having people fear me because of my size. Actually, it was other adults who feared me, not children. My daughter told me when she was in Junior High, that some her teachers were afraid of me. My experiences with children have always been good. Children seem to be able to see inside you, to see the inner child who can relate to them on a one-to-one basis. They know you are nice/fun, even if you are occasionally loud. The children will respond to this, rather than to how loud you are when you teach.
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Re: "The Mean Teacher!" -- Jackie Batteiger, 18:30:48 03/02/04 Tue [1]
After teaching in both an urban and suburban, (and of course, student teaching in Tiffin,) even your youngest students need those high expectations for behavior and musical skills. They won't come out and say, "Please give us rules to follow so that we will be better people!" But if you do not set the tone of class, the students will. And it will almost always be the last kid you want to set the tone. Keep your rules posted so even the k's can see them. (They may not be able to read them but they will know what they are.) Make sure these rules are your feel you can enforce. In my rougher schools, I even listed the consequences as well, positive and negative. Right now these are my posted expectations. (M.U.S.I.C)
M*ake good use of our time together
U*se instruments carefully
S*ing with your best voice
I*nclude ALL classmates in a friendly way
C*onduct yourself with dignity and respect
When I need them to get quit I spell out "M U S I C...I should see all eyes on me." Even for my 6th graders. These feed into my incentive plan to earn a free day. The kids almost always choose to sing and play their favorite music games.
One of your greatest allies is the classroom teacher for the young ones. He/She has tips on that childs behavior triggers. Don't be afraid to talk to parents. They USUALLY are very supportive. You are probably not the first teacher to have problems with their child. Call them for good as well as bad. A phone call home to praise little Jackie's contribution to class will get little Jackie to behave sometimes better than the negative call.
"Be firm but fair." I know you don't know me but I am a redhead with the temper that matches and I do my fair share of yelling. Don't under estimate they power of a good dirty look too. When I am disappointed in a students behavior, I let them know it. (As calm as possible.) WE talk about what rule(s) they broke and discuss better choices or repercussions of their actions. If they know that they did something wrong, they half way expect to get in trouble. In any new situation, they will test you. When I see them after class, in the hall or something, I smile, say hi, or talk about something else to let them know that I still like them and I will not hold it against them for the rest of their life.
Use your allies and be strong. You are in charge. At first, you need your students to respect you and then they will grow to like you.
Being know as the "mean teacher" is not the worst thing that could happen.
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Re: "The Mean Teacher!" -- Sarah Frantz, 11:11:22 03/23/04 Tue [1]
Oh Heather. You need not worry about being the "mean teacher." Just realize that not everyone in your classroom is going to like you everyday for the entire year. Discipline is needed in order to maintain the order in the classroom. You can't be happy and cheerful all the time. You must be able to get something done and not just be their friend all the time. This doesn't mean that you have to be terrible to your students just let them know that class can be fun but learning has to take place too. Good Luck Darlin'!!
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Re: "The Mean Teacher!" -- Sarah Frantz, 11:13:11 03/23/04 Tue [1]
Oh Heather. You need not worry about being the "mean teacher." Just realize that not everyone in your classroom is going to like you everyday for the entire year. Discipline is needed in order to maintain the order in the classroom. You can't be happy and cheerful all the time. You must be able to get something done and not just be their friend all the time. This doesn't mean that you have to be terrible to your students just let them know that class can be fun but learning has to take place too. Good Luck Darlin'!!
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Re: "The Mean Teacher!" -- Chad, 12:34:33 04/13/05 Wed [1]
Heather, it's not a confidence issue. Dealing with your worries of becoming a mean teacher you could possibly be focusing upon your past when you dealt with a "mean teacher" whether in music or otherwise. In order to become a succesful teacher without having to worry about disciplinary problems, you must separate the professional from the social. We all know that you are a friendly, happy person. You don't need to hold back if a student reacts negatively; as soon as you show disciplinary action, even once, it clearly associates your position; you as a teacher, not a friend. There clearly must be a difference, otherwise students won't ever take you seriously.
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Re: "The Mean Teacher!" -- Gary, 05:16:21 04/14/05 Thu [1]
I know something to this effect has been said before, but I'm going to reiterate to further emphasize what Chad has said: you do not need your students to like you, you need them to respect you. Respect is of the utmost importance. Think about it--would you want to learn from someone you did not respect? Probably not. So earning their respect, both through demonstrating competence (I know my classmates and I always hated having teachers who were bad at what they taught) and by knowing when to draw the line as far as behavior. Again, I'm not saying to be "mean", I'm saying to be firm. Not budge. You know, that kind of stuff. Sort of like a rock that talks.
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Re: "The Mean Teacher!" -- Patrick Clinage, 23:40:33 02/05/06 Sun [1]
are teachers really mean or are we just mislabeling honesty...personally i have never experienced a mean teacher for all the teachers that i have had have just been blunt with me...i do belive that respect IS of an upmost important factor as a teacher towards your students
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Re: "The Mean Teacher!" -- Laura, 17:53:34 02/06/06 Mon [1]
You do need to be "the mean teacher." I always had more respect for the teachers who knew when to take disiplinary action. If you are just nice all the time, the kids will learn that they can do whatever they want. Interestingly enough my favorite teacher in high school was the only teacher that ever gave me a dentionsion. Go figure? The kid may be upset or mad for the time being, but in time they will get over it.
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Re: "The Mean Teacher!" -- Kimberly Perkins, 18:24:41 02/13/06 Mon [1]
I agree with Laura on this one. I (generally) enjoyed classes that were organized with rules and structure. Example: I didn't enjoy my spanish clas my senior year. The teacher was pretty much a push over and let the class boss him around. We had 4 tests the whole year. My algebra class my freshman year was one of my favorites, but everyone was scared of the teacher. He even had a reputation of making students cry! However, everyone respected him and he really was a fabulous teacher.
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