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| Subject: Re: Suggestions regarding your separation and your unsaved husband | |
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Author: been there |
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Date Posted: 11:45:13 03/07/08 Fri In reply to: CRM Moderator 's message, "Suggestions regarding your separation and your unsaved husband" on 22:08:47 01/14/08 Mon Nothing in scripture is happenstance (of random occurrence). All of the events and words in scripture were MEANT TO BE. Did you ever wonder about the significance of the GENDER of the person at the well? (John chapter 4:1-42). Women are more likely to desire the finer things in life, such as "living water". She readily noticed Jesus as the Messiah (while the disciples still called Him "Rabbi"). Well, take heart, it is very likely that you have these "living waters" (tears of sorrow, John 7:38) that Jesus expects of those who truly love Him (John 7:38) that also were mixed with His blood at the cross. Christianity has sometimes been characterized as feminine because we are supposed to be gentle, loving, and humble to a father figure. It definitely sounds like your husband is BEHAVING as a narcissist (control freak) but may not actually BE one. Many people FALSELY believe it is a mental disorder, IT IS NOT (rarely, if possible at all). I've been at a website that has a "narcissist" forum for 7 years... http://www.curezone.com (which may of some help to you) but, as a pigheaded and stubbornly independent man, I can tell you that it's very easy for a man to feel defensive about our natural inability to be humble to the heavenly father figure in comparison to a woman's ability. So, if your husband is not an all out ogre monster, he simply has to learn how to calm down, control himself, accept himself and realize that God also accepts him, but he also has to realize how to humble himself to the heavenly father figure and treat his marriage/family better. Christianity has always been misunderstood as being a FAITH, it is not correct to call it a "faith", it is supposed to be a LOVE (much more unique than any "faith"). The problem has always been that traditional Christian teachings include "SELF ABASEMENT" (Colossians 2:18 and 23). It should be plain to see that if there is no [fully accepted] SELF, there can be no truly intimate relationship with God or each other. So, maybe the problem is that your husband has not fully accepted himself and decided to let God deal with SELF so that he could be a better husband. The 'identity crisis' of Christianity is very serious because it destroys a person's true humanity. Problems can't be solved until they are understood, speak to your husband and tell him you miss him (as God does). >Dear Sister Leona, > >It is such a sad story and you are not alone. So many >people are in the same situation. We are believing God >with you. > >Here are some suggestions: > >Regardless of the outcome, keep trusting in the Lord-- >God will never leave you, nor forsake you. Let God be >the One to bring him back to you; and I would pray for >wisdom concerning yourself- so you know what to do. >You don't want an unsaved husband back who will >mistreat you and insult you again so whatever the Lord >is doing, let the Lord do-- He has a plan and just >follow His leading, being led by His Spirit. > >Don't stop praying! God answers prayer! And the Bible >tells us that in all things, give thanks! It sounds >like your prayers are being answered; your husband >asked you to pray for him, he said he wanted to find >God. That's a very good sign. Marriage was instituted >by God, therefore the devil hates it, and the devil >will use anything and anyone to destroy a marriage, >including one of those in it, like your husband. > Try to realize that your enemy-- the devil --was >the real force behind your husband's attacks on you; >and continue praying that by the grace of God, your >husband will come to realize his need for the Lord >Jesus as personal Savior. It is so very important that >he understands the Gospel and why Jesus died for us. > >Here is our link that helps to explain the Gospel to >others: > > >href="http://www.geocities.com/cobblestoneministries/Je >susDiedForUS.html">http://www.geocities.com/cobblestone >ministries/JesusDiedForUS.html > >As with any broken relationship, forgiveness is so >very important. Continue to give everything over to >the Lord and anytime a negative memory concerning your >husband comes into your mind, say, "Lord, I don't want >to be bitter... I give this to You." The Lord is the >Healer of broken hearts. Give your burdens over to the >Lord. May God's love flow through you so that others >will be blessed around you. Since your husband is >finally able to hear God calling him, he needs prayer >more than ever. The Bible tells us to "pray without >ceasing" and that "love covereth all sins." >...Kindness and compassion and let Jesus love others >through you. For most of us, it can be very difficult >to forgive people who have wronged us and it is only >through God's grace that we can do it, for it is He >who helps us truly forgive that other person. > >We knew one sister in Christ with a similar situation >who would not live with her unsaved husband again >until she knew for sure that he was truly born again. >Her husband told us that he was utterly miserable >living life on his own and came to realize what he had >lost-- his wife and family; and that what he needed >was to be saved from his sins. When he finally gave >his heart to the Lord, then they were reconciled in >marriage and eventually they became youth leaders in >the church. God works in His timing, as hearts are >humble and yielded before Him. > >Keep trusting the Lord, Leona, for Jesus never fails! >He has you in His hand and He will not let you go! >Please keep us posted as to your situation. We will be >praying for you and your family! > >God bless! > >2Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of >fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. > >Here are some articles that we suggest reading: > > >href="http://www.geocities.com/cobblestoneministries/20 >08/Patience_Longsuffering_BibleStudyOnBeingPatient.html >">http://www.geocities.com/cobblestoneministries/2008/P >atience_Longsuffering_BibleStudyOnBeingPatient.html > > >href="http://www.geocities.com/cobblestoneministries/GI >VEYOURBURDENSOVERTOTHELORD.html">http://www.geocities.c >om/cobblestoneministries/GIVEYOURBURDENSOVERTOTHELORD.h >tml > > >href="http://www.geocities.com/cobblestoneministries/20 >06/BeEncouragedToday_FromTheBible.html">http://www.geoc >ities.com/cobblestoneministries/2006/BeEncouragedToday_ >FromTheBible.html > > >href="http://www.geocities.com/cobblestoneministries/20 >06/Devotional_LearningToLean.html">http://www.geocities >.com/cobblestoneministries/2006/Devotional_LearningToLe >an.html > > >href="http://www.geocities.com/cobblestoneministries/ho >peinGod.html">http://www.geocities.com/cobblestoneminis >tries/hopeinGod.html > > > >>my husband has been cheating on me and we are now >>seperated although i forgave him he dosent want me >>because i gained weight he said he deserves a skinny >>lady as hard as he works he always finds fault in me >>like i need to finish school and that when are last >>child is eighteen he wont be sending me any money >>anymore and that i wont be living off of him ive been >>married to him for twenty years thats all ive done was >>raise my kids and when he left he still sent money but >>he always makes me feel bad to take it i never got him >>in trouble with child support or try and divorce him >>because i just dont want to be another person divorced >> i wanted god to be happy with our marriage i was >>putting my trust in god and yet he would call hurting >>my feelings one way or another he basically had >>control over us because he was are money source >>finally i just took this to god like i have so many >>times but this time i left it at gods feet then i had >>to train my mind to believing my husband didnt exist >>anymore yet i would still pray over him the more i >>prayed the i felt like he was so vanishing then one >>day my husband started talking to me and ask me to >>pray for him he said he needed to find god and this >>is where im at with him now any suggestion? 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| Re: Suggestions regarding your separation and your unsaved husband | Alena (Missionary) | 17:35:43 03/26/08 Wed |