Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your
contribution is not tax-deductible.)
PayPal Acct: 
Feedback: 
Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):
| [ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: [1], 2 ] |
| Subject: Re: Suggestions regarding your separation and your unsaved husband | |
|
Author: Alena (Missionary) |
[
Next Thread |
Previous Thread |
Next Message |
Previous Message
]
Date Posted: 17:35:43 03/26/08 Wed In reply to: been there 's message, "Re: Suggestions regarding your separation and your unsaved husband" on 11:45:13 03/07/08 Fri I didn't have the time to read all of the posts here so forgive me if I'm repeating anything in my response. I believe that because of all of the abuse you have experienced in the marriage, you need to wait on God before consenting to return to the marriage, if reconciliation becomes possible. In order to have a change in the marriage, there must be a change within your husband, and some change within yourself. It requires time for God to work in both of your hearts, to have a very different kind of relating and marriage. I feel it's good to keep praying for him but I would not make myself available to him, but set boundaries, and learn to have greater respect for yourself. This can be done through educating yourself, through books, tapes, events, and through counseling, if that is possible. It is not God's desire for you to allow any man to berate you and treat you as beneath him. God created you to walk together, side by side. You are not inferior to your mate and you should not be treated as such. This can be a time where you allow God to prepare you both to have a very different kind of marriage. I feel that Christian women need to be wise, and submission to a husband doesn't mean allowing a husband to disrespect us. There may be times when we all are less than respectful to a mate or another person we are in a relationship with. But God's Word says we are to love others as we first love ourselves. You must learn to have a healthy love for yourself, in order to have a healthy relationship with others. If your husband's former abuse affected your esteem, then work on your esteem and allow God to heal you. Then if God brings the marriage back together, you will be able to set guidelines that you didn't have before. You need to rebuild good esteem so your husband in the future knows he can no longer disrespect you as before. Refuse to any longer tolerate abuse. God did not call you to be abused by a man. When there is abuse in a marriage, regardless of the circumstances or spiritual condition of either partner, there needs to be some change to set things on a healthy track. Good communication must be present. If that isn't allowed, separation needs to occur. Also healthy boundaries should be learned and implemented at all times. I feel there are probably things you both need to learn and grow in, prior to any reconciliation. But I feel you need to set some boundaries with your former husband, and regain self respect, in order to command greater respect. And you need to communicate that a different marriage is required in the future, should you reconcile. God's best to you! I pray something here may help. [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |