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Subject: Alright, Nicole


Author:
dave
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Date Posted: 11:37:26 02/26/05 Sat
In reply to: Nicole 's message, "Let's add this piece in....." on 08:24:17 02/24/05 Thu
 Here I am again. I hesitate to even post anymore because of this problem of not having my tone of voice expressed in the typed words. Last night, Judy told me that my posts were kinda ferocious and I can see that some people took them to be very arrogant. I think these impressions would be countered, in a face to face conversation, by a more humble manner that I think I normally exude. Maybe I'm wrong and I just can't see myself. Anyway, I still haven't sorted out my disturbing experience last night except that it's all wrapped up in my male ego and my attachment to being perceived by others as having a big hard cock. Ironically, it is this very attachment that gets in the way of it being true, leaving me feeling small and vulnerable and unable to just surrender to the sensations. The rest of it is more confusing. It has to do with why I felt this sort of shrinking of my sexuality and tension in my body long before I got to the center both last night and the day before the First Glance. Its like some part of me that eludes my consciousness recognizes that whatever these courses have to show me means the death of the self-protective glue that holds me together. Perhaps it's time to let something go, but I have trouble seeing it or knowing how to facilitate the process. My challenging question of the day for you is around a comment you made last night about polyamory that seemed to equate it to some kind of airy-fairy flakiness. Since polyamory and the honesty and communication that come along with it is the closest thing I have to a path or a practice these days, I find myself wondering, what's up with that?
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bellelaura00:05:31 02/27/05 Sun

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