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Subject: Denying what is

Author:
Robert

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Date Posted: 10:47:49 10/11/04 Mon

I was meditating this morning and it came to me right away.

I am afraid to love as much as I want to love. I think if I love this much, it will control me. It will not leave me time or energy or space to do anything but love. I will just be a lifeless drone sitting in the corner just loving. So, instead, I deny it and try to push it down. It is like holding back a ocean wave with my hands. I just get tossled around.

I've heard people in the community talk about orgasm this way. If I start getting off, will it be all I want to do? Will I just want to have dates all day? So, will the same thing happen to me? Will I just want to love.

As soon as I caught this, I felt this sensation rise up in my chest and spread through my body. I realized how much energy I've been using to deny what truely is. I'm in love with her. I'm in love this community. I'm in love with the center. I'm in love with my life.

Denying it has me feel stuck. Letting it out has me feel energized.

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
yes	Kristen	15:13:55 10/11/04 Mon