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| Subject: Grounded version of date on saturday. | |
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Author: Kristen |
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Date Posted: 15:30:15 10/11/04 Mon Meredith and Ted Thank you so much for inviting me in to your relationship. And into each of you. The way, Mer, that you welcomed me by reading me the CPR while i was in the car, had me warm so much to the idea of coming over. I could feel how much you genuinely care about me and want my health and happiness for myself. I could feel when you said we dont have doing without abstinence, that you meant Kristen I am stepping into my life and living it as best it can possibly be and i will not settle for less than that of you. You remind me by taking care of yourself that it is a choice in each moment that i make to shy away from my life and my bigness, from the love, from the success, from the happiness, from the connection, from the health, from the relationships, from the truth, from joy. While holding me exactly where i was, you reminded me that while that was perfect, i could have it SO much better and i was dillydallying on the sidelines of my life. That my life is NOW. And better yet you are modelling what i want! Your relationship with Ted was so clearly full of love and respect, joy and fun that i could not help but look at you and want what you have. You may not have your ninety days yet, sister, but you got what i want. And Ted, you showed up full of realness, solidarity, and a total acceptance of me that had me feel safe to just let it go. And your enthusiasm for doing me and your love for Meredith and your support of her program had me realize that that is what i want from my relationships. And that me holding myself to my best, to the truth, basically to staying abstinent, will attract others to take care of me by reminding me that i am choosing drama and hell, over my life full of love, and lots of sensation. The way you responded when i asked you for what i wanted felt so good. The way you said yes, i remember it vividly, and the way i could feel the two of you love to love and love to create joy in your lives and in your relationship spread that joy and optimism to me. Having never been in a relationship with a man for longer than 3 months, i have this idea that i cant have what i want and cant have a long great relationship. I am breaking through that as i get abstinent and get a clear mind. Clarity says i can have it however i want it. Clarity says i can have everything i want. You are supporting Mer. You are supporting eachother. I feel so able to trust you Mer, because of the connection we have with both our communities overlapping, We truly have the best of both worlds having program and having a doing community. I am so excited for our lives abstinent, orgasmic together, in gratitude for the grace of GOD in every moment, not forgetting the truth. My abstinence is so precious. My life is so precious. Our friendship means so much to me. Thank you for taking care of you and so inspiring me. Thank you God. In love, K [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |
| Subject | Author | Date |
| Feeling God's Love | Meredith Medland | 18:06:51 10/11/04 Mon |
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