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Subject: Strange - but - Familiar

Author:
Reine

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Date Posted: 10:36:58 10/21/04 Thu

I left last night with a feeling of sadness - an aching emptiness that I have known before - that I have experienced often soon after sex. I don't know what it is - or where it comes from - it is not a sensation that is generated by thoughts - it is purely emotional energy that is escaping my body. I got home and felt ill - physically uneasy - and surprisingly angry and aggravated - like how I feel when I experience PMS. hummm, what a wild connection and I wondered why?

I thought of my evening - of having "N" work the energy in my body - how I tried to move through my physical pain that was overwhelming my body. I remembered how my body quivered uncontrollably and how desperately I wanted to not go there - not feel it. I wanted to take my control back - to say no - to slip comfortably back into the familiar and safe being of my body. How much I struggle not to feel - the feelings that are uncomfortable.

Wow, to see all the connections - to get how much sadness and emotions I store - and the need for it all to be released.

I can't help but wonder what awaits me on the other side. And what it will take for me to get there.

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
I suspect...	Nicole	17:34:04 10/21/04 Thu
EVERYTHING - YIKES! -- Reine, 13:57:43 10/25/04 Mon I just thought... -- Nicole, 15:17:12 10/25/04 Mon