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Subject: Surrender

Author:
allyson

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Date Posted: 11:21:34 05/03/04 Mon

Rob and I got on the bed to have a date. This would be my first practice date for the demo this weekend.

I let myself feel vulnerable in his presence. I wanted to open the steel door that�s been blocking my heart.

Rob started running his hands over my body. He said, �Open�.

I wanted to feel connected. I wanted to get to clear. I let my emotions, my fears, my sadness, my anger, my expectations bubble to the surface. I wanted to remove all the layers that were covering my heart. I wanted for whatever period in my day to feel myself raw as woman.

He ran his hands over my stomach. He said the energy was centralized in the area right behind my belly button. I felt the electricity of all the energy in my belly. I felt the enormity of how much was inside of me. I felt overwhelmed by it. I started pushing downward. The energy moved like if you were pressing on one side of a water balloon. I kept pushing until the energy released and flowed down to my pussy.

I wanted to open my molecules and cells. I wanted to smooth, soften and even out the sensation in my whole body.

I went into the sensation. A voice came into my head and said, �You can surrender here and have power. This is where your real power is. Have it. You deserve it. Have it.� I clicked in with his strokes. I began to feel what he was doing in present time. His finger and my body became one.

He put his right hand under my ass. I relaxed my ass into his hand and felt the strokes on my clit. I felt my back flatten into the bed. It felt like my pussy and my ass were connected and opening, at the same time, in opposite directions.

He increased the length and speed of the strokes. He stroked from my clit down between my inner lips. My introitus was wet. I could feel my inner lips wrapping around his fingertip. They felt like hands holding his fingertip. With each stroke, a ball of white light formed at the source of my third eye and then quickly went out into space until it disappeared.

I felt myself getting close to the edge. There was a spot where the sensation was emanating from. I pushed my clit out until I could feel the spot. There, it felt like an itch was being scratched. We continued like this for 5 peaks. I kept pushing out into the spot.

I laughed inside at how funny I am. I saw all the drama I created for the shear excitement and thrill of it. But, now, I�m getting to the point, more and more, where I don�t need to act out my life; where I�m willing, finally, to rest in that soft achy feeling that is my heart, that is reality.

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