VoyForums
[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, [2], 3, 4 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 04:53:06 04/15/10 Thu
Author: YolandaV (Wicked)
Subject: I Could Never Play Well With Others
In reply to: Darkling 's message, "Why cant coworkers be civil?" on 06:36:37 04/12/10 Mon

I hear ya loud and clear. I could never play well with other, (which I'm sure that's why I was an only child.)

I'm always amazed at the fact that people who were bullies as children grow up to be bullies as adults. Meaning that they carry the same insecurities, yet they hide them as well as project them on others. This enlightened fact cuts to the point (yes the pun is intended. The strategy therefore is simple.
One can go several paths on this without getting to the point of losing your job or having to decapitate them. Which is not only messy, but will ruin Xmas for yourself and a few others.
Someone who bullies has the same method over and over again, which is insane.
Thus the meaning if insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome.
Change that!
In other words change the battle field. These people expect you to react to this consent badgering. They expect you to sit silently, knowing they have somehow hurt you.
It's very simple. Sometimes (and this works) start to look at them slowly moving your eyes up and down. Slow and purposes steady. With a small smile. Make sure everything else on your face is frozen. And slowly walk away even when they ask you what the hell your looking. Remember one thing: Every action has a reaction, so be fearless, but don't be stupid.
When confronted directly just say something that will tear down your targets foundation such as: " Hmmmmmmmmm, you have something sticking out of your nose."
Or "You have some spittle on the side of your mouth."
My fav. if it's a woman, whisper: "I think you have your period, maybe you should go and check yourself in the bathroom."

What this does is stopping the person right in their tracks on a level which is vulnerable to everyone. Get it?

Here's an old cop trick I learn from an old flame I had in the Bronx in New York.
He had been a cop on the force for some years, and he had a way of unnerving killers, thieves and what every dirt-bag that that crawled across his desk.
He would do a little something that teachers and librarians do all the time.
Sit silently without looking that the target and begin to silently swift his pencil back and forth with his hand. Small moves. Then he would look up, still slowly moving his pencil without blinking an eye.
This works but as I stated once before, insanity is doing the same thing over and over, so changing your strategy is vital. If anything for the sheer fact that they expect that reaction fro you all the time.
So change it, wheat-chopper.

Let me know if you try this.
YolandaV

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

Forum timezone: GMT-8
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.