Subject:  6 reasons to think before you speak |
Author:
Ann Fortinberry
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Date Posted: 21:07:01 11/27/05 Sun
>>
> Subject: 6 reasons to think before you speak ,
>
>
>
> Here are 6 reasons why you should think before you speak - the last one is
> great! Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the
words
> back... or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the Testimonials of a
> few people who did....
>
>
> FIRST TESTIMONY
> I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked
> loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I
turned around
> and walked back out and never went back My husband didn't say a word... he
knew
> better.
>
> SECOND TESTIMONY
> I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was
> unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several
minutes,
> I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the
store.
> He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said,
"I
> think I like playing with men's balls."
>
> THIRD TESTIMONY
> My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety
of
> candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the
> counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking
at your
> nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I
turned
> beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.
>
> FOURTH TESTIMONY
> While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some
> pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after
> receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her
that if she
> did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my
horror, she
> looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you
don't let
> me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee
> last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening
exchange. Even
> the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my
dignity
> and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard
> when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.
>
> FIFTH TESTIMONY
> Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old
> son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly.
One
> day, we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was
very
> busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something
> funny, so of course, I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was
clean.
> Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked
him
> if he needed to go, and he said, "No". I kept thinking "Oh
Lord, that child
> has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I
said,
> "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
"No," he replied. I just KNEW
> that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse.
Soooooo,
> I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This
time he jumped
> up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled,
"SEE
> MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on
their tacos
> laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me
feel
> better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
>
> LAST TESTIMONY
> This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very
> embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before
she
> speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any! We had a
female news
> anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
turned
> to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you
promised me
> last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew
did so,
> too, because they were laughing so hard!
>
> Now, didn't that feel good? Pass it on to someone you know who needs a
laugh!
>
>
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