Subject:  Re: 6 reasons to think before you speak |
Author:
Whitt
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Date Posted: 15:31:38 11/28/05 Mon
In reply to:
Ann Fortinberry
's message, "6 reasons to think before you speak" on 21:07:01 11/27/05 Sun
>>>
>> Subject: 6 reasons to think before you speak ,
>>
>>
>>
>> Here are 6 reasons why you should think before you
>speak - the last one is
>
>> great! Have you ever spoken and wished that you
>could immediately take the
>words
>> back... or that you could crawl into a hole? Here
>are the Testimonials of a
>
>> few people who did....
>>
>>
>> FIRST TESTIMONY
>> I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three
>kids in tow and asked
>
>> loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a
>blow job?" I
>turned around
>> and walked back out and never went back My husband
>didn't say a word... he
>knew
>> better.
>>
>> SECOND TESTIMONY
>> I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of
>golf balls. I was
>> unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
>After browsing for several
>minutes,
>> I was approached by one of the good-looking
>gentlemen who works at the
>store.
>> He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I
>looked at him and said,
>"I
>> think I like playing with men's balls."
>>
>> THIRD TESTIMONY
>> My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a
>store that sold a variety
>of
>> candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display
>case, the boy behind the
>
>> counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No,
>I'm just looking
>at your
>> nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically. The
>boy grinned, and I
>turned
>> beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has
>never let me forget.
>
>>
>> FOURTH TESTIMONY
>> While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler
>decided to release some
>
>> pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to
>grab hold of her after
>
>> receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other
>patrons. I told her
>that if she
>> did not start behaving "right now" she would be
>punished. To my
>horror, she
>> looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as
>threatening, "If you
>don't let
>> me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you
>kissing Daddy's pee-pee
>
>> last night!" The silence was deafening after this
>enlightening
>exchange. Even
>> the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered
>up the last of my
>dignity
>> and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
>The last thing I heard
>
>> when the door closed behind me, were screams of
>laughter.
>>
>> FIFTH TESTIMONY
>> Have you ever asked your child a question too many
>times? My three-year-old
>
>> son had a lot of problems with potty training and I
>was on him constantly.
>One
>> day, we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in
>between errands. It was
>very
>> busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my
>taco, I smelled something
>
>> funny, so of course, I checked my seven-month-old
>daughter, and she was
>clean.
>> Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty
>in a while, so I asked
>him
>> if he needed to go, and he said, "No". I kept
>thinking "Oh
>Lord, that child
>> has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes
>with me." Then I
>said,
>> "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
>"No," he replied. I just KNEW
>> that he must have had an accident, because the smell
>was getting worse.
>Soooooo,
>> I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an
>accident?" This
>time he jumped
>> up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his
>cheeks and yelled,
>"SEE
>> MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly
>choked to death on
>their tacos
>> laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat
>down. An old couple made me
>feel
>> better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever
>had!
>>
>> LAST TESTIMONY
>> This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for
>2 days and a very
>> embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the
>future, likely think before
>she
>> speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't
>get any! We had a
>female news
>> anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have
>snowed and didn't,
>turned
>> to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8
>inches you
>promised me
>> last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set,
>but half the crew
>did so,
>> too, because they were laughing so hard!
>>
>> Now, didn't that feel good? Pass it on to someone
>you know who needs a
>laugh!
>>
>>
Too funny. I've usually managed to keep at least one foot in my mouth my whole career.}:-)
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