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Date Posted: 09:57:20 07/16/07 Mon
Author: Mikki
Author Host/IP: 66-227-248-110.dhcp.bycy.mi.charter.com / 66.227.248.110
Subject: Sorry I've been absent

I've basically been incognito the last few months. I still go to work, but basically the rest of the time I am house bound. I am hearing voices....commanding voices that tell me to kill myself in front of my asshole former therapist. Guess I still have issues with him. We don't speak anymore, he threatened to get a PPO if I call again, and I threatened him to include him in my lawsuit against the hospital. I spoke to my attorney and he said that he is included anyway. I guess in lawsuits they "gunshot" and include everyone who has ever treated me. It is going to make me happy to see him have to get his own lawyer. I hope it costs the $60,000 dollars I paid him over 10 years. LIke I said......I still have issues.

Sarah is in full blown bipolar.......she has bipolar 1 I think cause she gets manic. She went into some kind of trance of sorts....walked around Meijers, spent $600 on my credit card, and didn't remember a thing about it. She called her boyfriend and said she was at a Meijers store but didn't know which one. I took her to the ER for a neuro check and to put her in the hospital.....they wouldn't admit her, said it was a medication reaction because she just started lithium. I watch her like a hawk now. She just isn't the same anymore, and is flunking out of college.....I don't know what to do, and you think I would know because I have it.

Work is going ok......keep plugging along. I am on some heavy duty meds for the voices....I hear them bad when I am at work. The UM docs just keep upping the dose. I think a hospital stay is coming. I'm having some serious commanding voices. It's like the devil is in me,and I can't even make it to church because I feel I will be bringing the devil to my place of peace. So I stay away.

Other than that....still alive. Sometimes don't want to be, but I keep hanging in there. If it wasn't for Mike, I'd be dead for sure.......

Love, Mikki

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