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Date Posted: 17:28:42 01/22/07 Mon
Author: Richard
Author Host/IP: 177.detroit-12rh16rt.mi.dial-access.att.net / 12.75.43.177
Subject: So disapointed but so surprised...

My son was supposed to have had come to the rehab center last night to take some of the stuff back to my home. He did not show nor did I get a phone call from him. This morning I still did not get a phone call and it got to be 15 minutes past the time he was suppose to be there to pick me up. He showed up. I told him I was worried. Later he said he was sorry. Everything was going well on the way home. We stopped at the supermarket. I bought some groceries for him and me. We stopped and I paid for lunch. We got to my home. He carried the wheelchair and stuff up to my home. We chatted for a bit. Talk about his brother leaving very mean and nasty phone message for me. He asked if I was sure I did not want to go up to the pharmacy. He asked about getting my Lortab pain med. I said that I have my Vicodin. He said, “Oh yeah.” I was in the kitchen getting stuff. I check my Vicodin bottle. Only 2 tabs left out of about 30. He was talking. I interjected, “We have an issue.” He says, “What’s that?” I say he has taken my Vicodin. He swears he hasn’t. I point to where he bottle was filled to when I had left on the day of the accident. He says, “Only a couple… I didn’t take that many.” He states that a couple of times. I say he ain’t strange to self-denial. He is angry but does not act it out. So cool! I am mad but calm. I ask if he has been using my car. His woman-friend had her car reposed. My son has been playing taxi for her. Probably was nice to let her use his care while he stole my car. He, with an adamant gesture says no. I say, “I was wondering how the snow got on my car’s tires, (Being the day he brought the car to my home from the park it had not snowed yet.) He is silent but looking mad again but still does not act it out. I say that I still love him, that I can be mad and still love him and that he can be mad and still love me. I ask him to call our therapist to start his own therapy to talk about this. In the car on the way home he had talked about seeing our therapist but had given me her calling card. With courtesy we part company. I give him some money to pick up cat food and litter for me.

I am not sure, but I think and feel that part of what I call Love, that there is no end in forgiving, there is no end to self-talk that tells me there is nothing to forgive. That does not mean that I do not take measures to protect myself in the future. I am going to call my son and leave a message commending him for his impulse control.

I am sitting here typing this up, eating Christmas cookies that were meant for the Christmas gathering at my sister’s father-in-law’s home, and drinking coffee. I am about to take a shower, which I have had only one since Christmas. After the shower I am going to try out my new pillow. It is made out of “Memory Foam”. Memory foam was developed for the astronauts. I already have a memory foam mattress top and a same type of pillow put is shaped to support the head and neck. I do not like the shape. It is kinda uncomfortable. The new one is shape like a regular pillow.

My bike is not damaged much at all. I will take in to the bike shop to get it checked out anyway. About six weeks and I be healed completely and be back to avidly bike riding again.

Thanks for reading all of this

RICHARD

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