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Date Posted: 18:46:11 12/05/06 Tue
Author: Rhonda K (Bah Humbug...)
Author Host/IP: d207-216-214-186.bchsia.telus.net / 207.216.214.186
Subject: Yup....
In reply to: Dave 's message, "Well , It's The Holidays !" on 10:46:47 12/04/06 Mon

I am starting to feel very low indeed...being away from my mom and my brothers and the kids...feels awful this year. Last year, we had friends to celebrate with, but this year, it will just be Lorne, Ali, Dayel and I...

Though Lorne is trying very hard to make it a good holiday..I am feeling like I am missing out on so much. Dayel is missin her cousins and friends, I am missing my family.

As a young child, our Christmas's were dysfunctional to say the least...the stereotypical drunken christmas. When I got old enough to have my own home and host the dinner, I let everyone know that it was a "dry" christmas..because Christmas was for the kids and kids should not have to put up with stuff like adults fighting...and stuff. My grandfather, said it was the best Christmas he had had in a very long time...it made me feel good.

Then my parents broke up...and then it really started...the do we invite mom and dad together..do we have seperate dinners..how will they be in the same room! Ewwww....

Now, I have my daughters and this year, it will be all about them...

OH OH OH...on a high note...I went back to the gym, haven't had a drink in a few days and I am finally starting to feel good....and...I got my Christmas present early....a rock tumbler...so I am going to polish some of the rocks that I found on the beaches of the Queen Charlotte Islands.

I am trying very hard to hold on to not slipping into my depression...for my family's sake....I don't want Lorne to worry about me over the holidays...

It is a day to day struggle...sometimes, hour to hour...

I know if I were home, there would be more stress involved to having a good holiday season...but I would rather have that...then nothing...

Love and hugs sweetie, Take care of you...MUH MUH MUH
Rhonda

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