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Date Posted: 22:12:05 10/16/06 Mon
Author: Hope
Author Host/IP: 71-212-249-126.hlrn.qwest.net / 71.212.249.126
Subject: Something to really be depressed about

I found out yesterday that my brother is back in the hospital with congestive heart failure and possible renal failure. My mom flew back from AZ to CO yesterday and when he took a turn for the worse she and her husband got in the car to drive back. I don't want to lose him. He's my only sibling left (I lost two brothers when I was younger).

Rhonda thank you for being so supportive right now. I love you so much. I look forward to connecting via phone soon, maybe this week.

Dave, how to explain the events and the choices that brought me to where I am today. I do try hard to gracefully accept the consequences of choices and life. But I suck at it sometimes too. I have been pretty low. The onset of "the change" I think has triggered a major depression that I can't seem to shake. But I do have days when I come out of it and fake it just enough to keep my routine going. I have to keep my job and keep the household running too. Not easy with this damn mental illness. I'm so fragile.

Well again, thanks for the kind words and compassion.

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