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Date Posted: 10:30:36 10/23/06 Mon
Author: Dave
Author Host/IP: c-67-165-90-184.hsd1.oh.comcast.net / 67.165.90.184
Subject: I Just Wonder ?

It appears that in the past , that I have basically tried ( with my bad heart and all ) to end my life . I just wonder if this has been through total ignorance or guilt . I don't feel that I am totally stupid person . But I just continue to make one bad decision after another . Even when I've tried to help others , it blows up in my face . So , am I setting myself up to kick my own ass ? Am I the only one here like this ? I know in the past anger has guided some of my insane behavior . I try my best to recognize and defuse my anger when I feel it might be taking control now . I don't believe I am a selfish person . I've even taken flack from my friends for being too good hearted . They ask , why would you even try and help that person ? Is this me being guided by my guilt again ? Just maybe this is another attempt on my part to throw a blanket on the guilt that burns inside of me . I'm so confused that this post probably is not even going to make much sense . Just really struggling right now .
....... Dave

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