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Date Posted: 14:15:10 10/23/06 Mon
Author: Rhonda K (MUH MUH MUH)
Author Host/IP: 35conn92.rupert.net / 209.145.122.92
Subject: (((((You are a very good and kind person)))))))
In reply to: Dave 's message, "I Just Wonder ?" on 10:30:36 10/23/06 Mon

Seeing the destruction of war...has left you with compassion and kindness...being berated by your "friends" because you can't help yourself from helping...is nothing to feel guilty about.

There are so many of us, that reach out, only to be "bitten", after which we feel disillusioned, rejected, angry and self loathing...for being so dumb....BUT, are we really....because some times, there are the few that we help that appreciate and are genuinely grateful that we were there.

I have been very very generous with my resources...in the past, to help family and friends, most of the time, it left me to go without....but it is who I am. I cannot just walk by and not see those in need. I can say "no"...when it is ridiculous...or detrimental to the person in need...but if it is within my power to help...I will.

YES, I have the bruises to show...from my ass being kicked. But I really don't think that I would stop helping people...I have learned...to question, why they need help, I have learned to view their situation with more perspective in order to see what they need and how much they can do themselves.

With that, I have also learned that I need to do for ME...to treat myself better...to acknowledge that I need help, to reach out for help, to treat myself once in awhile to reinforce the idea that I am worth it too.

Depression, leaves us with obsessive/compulsive disorder, some of us spend too much, some of us work too much, some of us self medicate to the point of disaster, we do tend to to things that most would say is out of control....like you, I reach out to others, to help them...in order to give my own life a sense of worth and meaning...trying to make up some of my past indiscretions..that left some people I know hurt and wondering...

I do understand where you are coming from...do understand why you question your actions...and yes, when we are at our lowest...we tend to pick ourselves apart...and try to evaluate every aspect of our life and the actions we have taken.

Try, at this time Dave, to be kind to you...to look at the good things you have done...and not pick apart what has happened in the past....I know this is easier said than done, but I want you to remember one thing...

You are loved...you are missed when you are not online, you are a part of my life..and have been a part of that life for almost 9 years!!!! Tho we have lost touch from time to time, our paths always seem to cross again...and that always makes my life more worthwhile!

Dayel sends her love and big hugs...MUH MUH MUH
Rhonda

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