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Date Posted: 02:57:32 08/08/06 Tue
Author: Richard
Author Host/IP: d14-69-111-23.try.wideopenwest.com / 69.14.23.111
Subject: Can't sleep... stomach upset...

<p>I feel like I have taken a Vicodin. I am tired but cannot sleep. It was great visiting with my sister and brother-in-law. I came home with a $200 check for my old computer too. I have been feeling <span style="font-weight:600">wrong</span> ever since I got home. I have been feeling very anxious too. A woman driver was only doing the speed limit in the fast lane of the freeway. I flashed my lights to get her to pull over or go faster. I could not control her. When I got the chance to pass her on the right, I rolled down my window and reach out my arm and gave her the finger. I am working on not giving bad drivers the finger. Only, she really was not being a bad driver. I wonder if that triggered me feeling so wrong. Triggered all the underlying existing guilt, shame, etc?
<p>This sucks. I will not be able to go to the park this cooler morning now. Jeez, how I wish that I had a much better mental state. I wish anxiety did not keep me awake. I just know that a huge meteor is heading straight towards earth and directly on top of me.
<p>The only time that I watch television is when I am eating and mostly channel surf. I can’t help but hit the news channels. All this death, barrage of doomsday talk about the middle east. That terrorist group in Lebanon is supposed to be setting up in South America. I wonder if that is getting to me also. You know way back in World War I, there were bombings in New York and other major cities. They were called infiltrators back then.
<p>My osteoarthritis is manifesting itself in my hands now. Life… life fatigue!
<p>I have the best cat companions. I sit outside cat-sitting Pain & Pest. I have boundaries that they cannot go past. They do go past them. They have the defiance gene in them. I let them go for a moment then go herd them back into the boundaries. I figure I need to appease that gene some… makes them happier cats. Today, I was out checking the fluids in my car and washing the windows. They snuck around the tree at the end of the drive and were headed down the block. I asked them were they were going. They meowed at me…”for a stroll.” All I had to do was walk towards them and scurried back to the boundaries.
<p> [img]<a rel=nofollow target=_blank href="http://www.richarddw.net/art/shazrichardwht2.gif[/img]">http://www.richarddw.net/art/shazrichardwht2.gif[/img]</a>

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