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Date Posted: 13:54:06 08/14/06 Mon
Author: Liz
Author Host/IP: NoHost / 12.31.208.217
Subject: Re: My Story
In reply to: Dave 's message, "Re: My Story" on 13:17:41 08/14/06 Mon

Hell yes, I cry, I cry way too much, often for no good reason. And yes, I laugh too, and I have the ability to enjoy the moments, although not as many as I should maybe. I feel I always have to be the tough one too, I don't have the luxury of breaking down. I'd be popping pills all day if I actually ever felt better on them. The problem is I usually feel worse or no different and I have side effects lie shakiness or nausea or sleeplessness. I don't have a moral issue with meds, but I know my partner does. That makes it harder for me to justify them, especially when I have side effects and he can't understand why I would want to take meds in the first place that make you feel sicker. Of course, if I didn't understand how bad this illness was, I wouldn't understand the need for meds when nothing you can see is wrong. Life is good on the surface, the sickness is inside. I have thought about stopping eating and getting very thin so I will look as sick as I feel. Is that how people get eating disorders? Obviously I am rambling and I don't know what I am saying today.

L

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