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Date Posted: 19:45:14 09/10/06 Sun
Author: Mikki
Author Host/IP: 24-236-239-50.dhcp.bycy.mi.charter.com / 24.236.239.50
Subject: For everybody

I finally feel up to posting, so I just wanted to point out that I responded to everyones post under my suicide post. I read them right away, it just took me longer to pull my head out of my rear and respond. Thank you to all of you who wrote me emails, and posted. I love all of you with all my heart.

If I don't post for a while, you'll know I ended up back in the hospital. I see the authorities tomorrow. I'm hoping for a drug fix.....but I don't know this time. It feels different inside of me.....like I have no control over it. The thoughts are overwhelming at times. I thought that by preplanning my own funeral would force me to stare death in the face.....face it, fear it, and run from it. It didn't, and that scares me. I planned everything down to the music I want played. No emotion, no fear, almost a sense of relief. Now that is the scary part. And why I probably should be hospitalized.

Love you all,

Mikki

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