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Date Posted: 14:41:16 06/25/06 Sun
Author: Richard
Author Host/IP: adsl-69-209-166-148.dsl.sfldmi.ameritech.net / 69.209.166.148
Subject: Stuff...

‘Marian’ came in early at the hospital Friday. Marian gets treatment for her autoimmune disease every other day. The disease has been attacking her since she was a child. She has loss the use of her legs and is wheelchair bound. She cannot swallow her food. She used to get her nutrition through a ‘G-tube’ through her belly. That has failed now and she gets her nutrition through a large catheter that is inserted in a large vein in her chest… TPN treatment; I did that for two years. Marian’s lungs are starting to fail on her now too. Marian is on ventilator now. Marian has short bowel syndrome as I do. Marian has fibromyalgia also as I do too. Marian is the person who told me to not take the world personally after telling her a little story of guilt. I am guessing that with her lungs failing, Marian does not have long to live. Marian is 30 years of age.

After visiting with Marian, I had a tough but uplifting day. I had asked Marian why she chooses to continue to live being her next life is sure to be better than this one. Marian told me that if her next life is better than this one, it will be waiting for her when she does get there and in the meantime she going to get all the joy out of this one that she get and is getting. Marian gave me several examples of the joy she is getting. Cool, hun?

As I wrote in a post below, I am or maybe was having a tough time dealing with my new diagnoses of autoimmune disease. However, Marian’s visit set me straight. Marian humbled the dickens out of me. I did feel better the rest of the day, but there was the down side also. Marian, physical shape is foreboding example what is in store for me. I am sure that my autoimmune disease is eating at my brain as well as other parts of my body. I have tried many times to explain to the docs and physician assistants about my thinking problems but they are so hard to describe and my attempt does not seem to alarm them.

After infusion Friday morning I went to the park. My state of mind was in ‘driven’ mode. I needed to know that I could still ‘do’. Being it was warm out, I only rode my bike 16 miles instead of 24 and only walked 3 miles. However, that squelched my fear about not being able to do. Early Saturday morning I did 24-3/4 miles and walked 3 miles. It was a little windy so it was a little bit of challenge. This morning, Sunday, I did the 3 hilly trips around the lake for the 24-3/4 miles and walked 3-1/2 miles. I felt so strong. I had such a good time. The park is so beautiful with all the lake, scenery, geese, birds… I even saw a deer swimming to shore from the other side of the lake… so cool. If this morning moment was the only moment that I had in life… then life is surely the worth for living… Thank you Marian… and for my God… and for all of you here… and for… and for… and!

I am sure that I am up for responding to all your posts now. I am sorry for not be there for you lately. One moment at a time, eh?

RICHARD

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