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Date Posted: 16:03:17 07/10/06 Mon
Author: Liz
Author Host/IP: cpe-24-175-42-10.houston.res.rr.com / 24.175.42.10
Subject: Re: hello, quick check in
In reply to: Anna 's message, "hello, quick check in" on 06:32:29 07/08/06 Sat

Good to see you Anna, sorry some of the bad feelings are troubling you. You have lovely girls.

I think we kid ourselves that there is a permanent cure, but there may be only, hopefully, long periods of remission and the ability to cope in between.

I'm ashamed to say that I have been battling with bouts of depression again but grateful that they aren't chronic and that they do cycle.

I read an interesting article that recurrent depression is a bipolar spectrum disorder. You aren't necessarily ever manic or hypomanic. Just the fact the you have periods of feeling good interspersed with periods of depression is evidence of cycling. This is important in a clinical sense, since treatment with a mood stabilizer is often indicated.

I'm still riding the merry-go-round with meds. In the past year I tried and gave up on Lexapro, Seroquel and Mirtrazipine. I felt so sedated and that made me feel worse and I never got past the fatigue -- but I wasn't able to stick it out past 2 months or less. Now I have Wellbutrin to try again. At least from what I know, it won't sedate me.

I really feel like I must do something. Life is good and yet some days I feel like I am barely functioning, just going through the motions and that is no way to live or to be in a relationship. It is unfair to my partner and to my family that I am fighting tears for no reason and unable to speak because I have nothing to say, etc.

I hope you cycle back up soon and if not, seek treatment and control this episode and be heartened that it will get better again. It may just be something we have to manage all our lives and it is manageable, although it isn't always easy and because we know we can be well, it is angering to slip into the pit.

Remember it is biochemically based and if you can baby yourself a little, do. Let your husband handle the night feedings sometimes, at least bring the baby to you so you don't have to get up. Ask for help in other ways, I wish I had done that more.

Hugs, hope you come back to read these replies.

Liz

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