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Date Posted: 08:25:29 06/01/06 Thu
Author: Richard
Author Host/IP: NoHost / 206.135.142.218
Subject: Depressed, dishearten...

The music is too loud up here at the coffee house. I wonder why such places think they need to play the music so loud. Even when I drank at bars I did not like loud music. I understand low tolerance of loud noise is symptom of depression. Lately I have been having new medical conditions. My hands and arms are red. I have bruises; one is healing the other is growing, my chronic fatigue has worsen much, my blood pressure is lower than its normal low, my lethargy is much worse, my skin is kinda filled with little scaly white things, my coumadin (blood thinner) level drop as if I was not taking any, and yesterday I broke out in sweat. I went to my doc's clinic. A physician's assistance took my information, asked me questions, checked me out, order blood tests, and nonchalantly upped my twice weekly IV hydration infusion to three times a week. I went <i><span style="font-weight:600">ugh!</span></i> She asked if that is what I wanted. Like, only if I need it, I said. This morning was the first morning with dry pavement out at the park and cooler. The humidity was 86% though. I so miss going to the park riding 20 miles and walking 4 miles. However, I just could not muster up the energy to go. My lawyer and his wife/staff said that they hope that I would live to be 100 years of age so that horrid surgeon's insurance would pay so greatly. Sad, so worried, and so depressed. Shoot! I might not live another ten years even. Top gastroenterologist surgeons and docs said I would die early. Maybe being worried about dying is good thing for my considering my past attitued about staying alive.

One moment at a time,<br>RICHARD

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