"Don't" Chapter 1 At Table -- Mississippi Valley Brigade

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Date Posted: Friday, February 18, 09:08am
Author: Chuck Toney
Subject: "Don't" Chapter 1 At Table

� �Don�t�

I.

At Table.

Don�t, as an invited guest, be late to dinner. This is a wrong to your host, to other guests, and to the dinner.

Don�t be late at the domestic table, as this is a wrong to your family, and is not calculated to promote harmony and good feeling.

Don�t seat yourself until the ladies are seated, or, at a dinner-party, until your host or hostess gives the signal. Don�t introduce, if you introduce at all, after the company is seated.

Don�t sit a foot off from the table, or sit jammed up against it.

Don�t tuck your napkin upon your breast. Bibs and tuckers are for the nursery. Don�t spread your napkin over your lap; let it fall over your knee.

Don�t serve gentlemen guests at your table before all the ladies are served, including those who are members of your own household.

Don�t eat soup from the end of the spoon, but from the side. Don�t gurgle, or draw in your breath, or make other noises when eating soup. Don�t ask for a second service of soup.

Don�t bend over your plate, or drop your head to get each mouthful. Keep an upright attitude as nearly as you can without being stiff.

Don�t bite your bread. Break it off. Don�t break your bread into your soup.

Don�t eat with your knife. Never put your knife into your mouth. (Is this advice unnecessary? Go into any restaurant and observe.) Don�t load up the fork with food from your knife, and then cart it, as it were, to your mouth. Take up on the fork what it can easily carry, and no more.

Don�t use a steel knife with fish. A silver knife is not placed by the side of each plate for the fish course.

Don�t handle fork or knife awkwardly. Let the handles of both knife and fork rest in the palm of the hand. How to handle knife and fork can be acquired only by observation and practice. Don�t stab with the fork, or handle it as if it were a dagger. Always carry food to the mouth with an inward curve of the fork or spoon.

Don�t eat fast, or gorge. Take always plenty of time. Haste is vulgar.

Don�t fill your mouth with too much food, and don�t masticate audibly. Eat gently and quietly and easily.

Don�t put your knife into the butter, into the salt-cellar, or into any dish.

Don�t spread out your elbows when you are cutting your meat. Keep your elbows close to your side.

Don�t, when you drink, elevate your glass as if you were going to stand it inverted on your nose, as some do. Bring the glass perpendicularly to the lips, and then lift it to a slight angle. Do this easily.

Don�t eat vegetables with a spoon. Eat them with a fork. The rule is not to eat anything with a spoon that can be eaten with a fork. Even ices are now often eaten with a fork.

Don�t devour the last morsel of food. It is not expected that your plate should be sent away cleansed by your gastronomic exertions.

Don�t leave your knife and fork on your plate when you send it for a second supply.

Don�t reject bits of bone, or other substances, by spitting them back on your plate. Quietly eject them upon your fork, holding it to your lips, and then place them on the plate. Fruit-stones may be removed by the fingers.

Don�t stretch across another�s plate in order to reach anything.

Don�t apply to your neighbor to pass articles when the servant is at hand.

Don�t finger articles; don�t play with your napkin, or your goblet, or your fork, or with anything.

Don�t mop your face or beard with your napkin. Draw it across your lips neatly.

Don�t turn your back to one person for the purpose of talking to another; don�t talk across the one seated next to you.

Don�t forget that the lady sitting at your side has the first claim on your attention. A lady at your side should not be neglected, whether you have been introduced to her or not.

Don�t talk when your mouth is full- never, in fact, have your mouth full. It is more healthful and in better taste to eat by small morsels.
Don�t be embarrassed. Endeavor to be self-possessed and at ease; to accomplish which, try and not be self-conscious. Remember that self-respect is as much a virtue as respect for others.

Don�t drop your knife or fork; but, if you do, don�t be disconcerted. Quietly ask the servant for another, and give the incident no further heed. Don�t be disquieted at accidents or blunders of any kind, but let all mishaps pass off without comment and with philosophical indifference.

Don�t throw yourself loungingly back in your chair. The Romans lounged at table, but modern civilization does not permit it.

Don�t rest your elbows on the table; don�t lean on the table.

Don�t use a toothpick at table, unless it is necessary; in that case, cover your mouth with one hand while you remove the obstruction that troubles you.

Don�t eat onions and garlic, unless you are dining alone, and intent to remain alone some hours thereafter. One should not wish to carry with him unpleasant evidence of what he has been eating or drinking.

Don�t press food upon a guest. This once was thought necessary, and it was also considered polite for a gust to continue accepting, or to signify by a particular sign that he had enough. To worry a guest with ceaseless importunities is now considered in the worst possible taste.

Don�t, as guest, fold your napkin when you have finished. Place the napkin loosely on the table.

Don�t fail, at dinner, to rise when the ladies leave the table. Remain standing until they have left the room, and then reseat yourself if you intend to remain for cigars.

Don�t make a pronounced attempt at correctness of manner; don�t be vulgar, but don�t, on the other hand, show that you are trying hard not to be vulgar. It is better to make mistakes than to be obviously struggling not to make them.

Don�t drink too much wine.

Don�t thank host or hostess for your dinner. Express pleasure in the entertainment, when you depart- that is all.

Don�t come to breakfast in dishabille. A lady�s morning toilet should be simple, but fresh and tasteful, and her hair not in curl-papers. A gentleman should wear his morning suit, and never his dressing gown. There are men who sit at table in their shirt-sleeves. This is very vulgar.
Don�t, as hostess, follow the English fashion and omit napkins at breakfast. The hardidood with which an Englishman attacks coffee and eggs without a napkin may excite our wonder, but how can the practice be defended? Is it anything less than disgusting?

Don�t drink from your saucer. While you must avoid this vulgarity, don�t take notice of it, or of any mistake of the kind, when committed by others. It is related that at the table of a English prince a rustic guest poured his tea into his saucer, much to the visible amusement of the court ladies and gentlemen present. Whereupon the prince quickly poured his own tea into his saucer; thereby rebuking his ill-mannered court, and putting his guest in countenance.

Don�t carry your spoon in your tea or coffee cup; this habit is the cause frequently of upsetting the cup. Let the spoon lie in the saucer.

Don�t smear a slice of bread with butter; break it into small pieces, and then butter.

Don�t break an egg into a cup or glass, but eat it always from the shell.

Don�t read newspaper or book or letters at table, if others are seated with you.

Don�t decorate your shirt-front with egg of coffee drippings, and don�t ornament your coat-lapels with grease-spots. A little care will prevent these accidents. Few things are more distasteful than to see a gentleman bearing on his apparel ocular evidence of having breakfasted or dined.

Don�t rise from the table until the meal is finished.

Many rule of the table seem to some persons very arbitrary, no doubt, but they are the result of the mature experience of society, and, however trivial they may appear to be, there is always some good reason for them. The object of a code is to exclude or prevent everything that is disagreeable, and to establish the best method of doing that which is to be done. It is not necessary to point out that a dinner served and eaten in disregard of all the rules would be a savage carousal; this being true, it ought to be seen that, if rules in any degree elevate the act of eating, then a code of rules generally observed lifts eating to a still higher plane, and makes it a fine art.�

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