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Date Posted: 14:53:47 12/01/02 Sun
Author: Jamie
Subject: lost and depressed

Hello. I have been with my boyfriend for 1 year and we both have done some nasty stuff to each other...such as cheating...he always seems so empty, he says he loves me and cares but he will not listen when i talk as soon as i start crying or he hears something he doesnt like he blows up and tells me to shut up or hangs up...i feel like he loves me but he doesnt show me he is not affectionate in front of people and does not act like he loves me...recently he was in rehab, he has no trust in me...i went to a football game with my best friend, but his dad said that it might be a good idea to say i went wiht my dad so he wouldnt flip out, he found out i went with my best friend, now he says he doesnt wanna do this anymore, he doesnt want to be with me right now, but he loves and cares about me, and maybe in the future things will be different. That this is all my fault. He constantly brings up the past and holds things against, i am not saying i am not wrong, but he has done some awful things to me that i dont hold against him. i am extremley depressed and cry uncontrolobly and it doesnt seem to bother him, he thinks he is right no matter what. I dont want to go on and wait to see if it works, and it hurts bad that he doesnt want me. But i dont understand how he can i say i love you and i care about you, and i wanna be with you in the future, but i dont wanna be with anyone now..lets just be friends...He gave me the choice be friends and deal with the fact I have no control over his life or dont talk to him...All I told him is what is your definitions of us being friends, he would answer he just kept saying 2 choices....How do I be with friends with someone I love, and feel is the biggest part of my world and who i still want to romantically and emotionally be with...it hurts so bad, and his parents tell me to just move on i dont deserve to be treated this way.....i am very confused as far as his actions and words and what to do in my situation. How do u move on or take a break and hope that person will want you sometime again? He is says we can still kiss and stuff but he cant deal with me now....PLEASE give me advice.

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