| Subject: Peanut m&m: Your Friendly Neighborhood Anti-Soap Elf? |
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m&m
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Date Posted: 17:19:36 10/17/03 Fri
I never, ever thought I'd see the day, but...
I have become my father.
In terms of his 'completely non-objective opinion on the soap opera.'
In cyber terms, I always referred to him as "The OLTL Hater," OLTL being a term interchangeable with whatever soap of the moment was viewing/being called into question.
I used to be phenomenal at tuning out his soap slams, or dueling them with the brilliant logic of a passionate soap lover, or something akin to 'nanny nanny poo-poo, you don't even watch so why should you get to weigh in' complete with Irish-Italian flash of temper and hand motions.
Last night, I caught myself channeling his voice as sibling the younger was watching what felt like a seventeen hour long episode of General Hospital in my immediate area. Ten thousand things about it bug me to the point of wishing that I could stab my eyes out with toothpicks until the taped version viewing of each day's episode has ended, but the one that I actually couldn't hold in last night?
"How many freaking things can happen to one person during the course of a nine-month-though-give-credit-to-time-where-credit-is-due-it's-a
soap-pregnancy-so-it's-probably-been-more-like-a-22-month-gestational-period
pregnancy can something potentially take a woman/the baby/the baby's father/the baby's aunt/the baby's uncle-in-law by marriage's life? Cause I am so sick and tired of non-stop potential tragedies occuring in the lives of Sonny, Carly, S&C in utero spawn, Jason, Jason's other half, and quite possibly an ameoba that lives on one of them whose life will tragically be threatened next week since tragedy on the others has been overused and then it will still be THEIR tragedy since it's an ameoba belonging to one of the above people...*takes a breath and looks around at the world from this new perspective*...Seriously, are any of those damn mob people EVER happy?"
Sibling the younger, being very hurt by this outburst, just looks at me and says..."You know nothing. Just not very long ago, Jason and Courtney got married and they were very happy."
To which I said "Yes, I suffered through that version of happiness too, but wasn't it over in one commercial break to foreshadow the next tragedy?"
She tuned me out. I attempted to tune it all out.
But is it just me, or are those people especially loud and painful to the ears whenever they are in the midst of a tragedy? Seriously, if I have to look up into Carly's crying soap-opera face one more time, I'm going to have to follow through on the toothpick thing.
I'm afraid to see what a soap that I actually loved and cared for would move me to say if I took in an episode any time soon.
Um...but mostly, just...hi everybody :). And this blast by the Anti-Soap Peanut m&m is being brought to you by Midol, and Hallmark---when you care enough to whine the very best at those who you hope will still love you anyway, because that's the hallmark hallmark, and they're just awesome people like that. ;)
~m&m
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