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Date Posted: 20:48:37 04/18/01 Wed
Author: -Chaos
Subject: Other TheSpartk.com tests I took... (I got bored...)

These are the results from several tests I took... Oh and if you got some time take the IQ test as well... it's very interesting. My score on it was an 89... I thought I was smarter, but I guess not. =P

Other tests:


Personality Test Results:

HEALER
(Submissive Extrovert Concrete Feeler )


James Brennaman
Like just 9% of the population you are a HEALER
(SECF)-- caring, good with people, and patient. You are
completely selfless and full of love. As a concrete feeler,
you do well with your emotions, which are very strong. You
understand and appreciate *why* you feel the way you
do, and for the most part you're at peace with yourself.

Suffering in the world really pisses you off.

In relationships, it's easy for you to get hurt. Avoid all
kinds of dominant (D***) people, *especially* in dating or
marriage. You are a motherly figure, even if you're a guy. If
you're a girl, make sure you're a mom some day. The
world's children need people like you. If you're a guy, don't
even think about it. Most pedophiles are HEALERS.

On the rare occasions when you try to assert yourself,
you're cute and awkward, but highly effective.



Death Test Results:


Mark your calendar or Palm V. You can expect to die on:

September 27, 2066
at the age of 83 years old.


On that date you will most likely die from:

Heart Attack (23%)
Cancer (16%)
Drowning (8%)
Horrible Accident (7%)
Alcoholism (6%)
Homicide (6%)
Third Degree Burns (5%)
Alien Abduction (5%)
Auto-Fellatio (5%)

Wealth Test Results:

Congratulations! Based on inflation, taxes, the anticipated world economy, melting
icecaps, free love, the global yeast war of 2017, the Canadian depression of 2021, and
your personal financial outlook, you can expect to be worth one million dollars at...

36 years old!





This is how you'll make (or lose) big bucks during your very eventful life. Match these
events on your personal timeline with the graph to see their effects.


2001: You discover a cure for the common hippy.


2003: Coke habit out-of-control, switch to Sprite!!!


2007: Kung-Fu impresses all the rich hos.


2011: It's discovered that you faked the funk on your nasty dunks. The
NBA wants its money back.


"Hi, I'm Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft, noted crap-monger, and
star of TV's Melrose Place. I'm also a psychic. Anyway... I predict
that your first million dollars will be made in 2017, in the following
ways: "



$87,000 through insider trading.


$267,000 being a star.


$83,000 through lucrative nerd-ism, like me, Bill Gates.


$81,000 criminal mischief.


$352,000 working 9 to 5.


$77,000 'working' between the sheets.


$53,000 odd-jobs for the Pope.


Love test results:

Congratulations! And thanks for waiting. Your new identity is revealed...
Having considered your history, dreams, yearnings, insecurities, personal
flaws, and the such, we now conclude, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that
you are (deep down on the eternal inside) what we like to call


"The Adolescent"
Dependent Good
Sex Provider




ChaosAD003
SYNOPSIS

Tender and eager to please crotches. Like
the zit-faced high school kid that plays
with himself on the bus, you're not really a
bad person, you just need a girlfriend. If
you have one, great--because you tend
to be successful in relationships--if you're
single, then try getting your hand out of
your pants.

You're selfless and sensual, so you're
probably great in bed. And despite raging
hormones, you're a good-natured guy. All
in all, you're an excellent boyfriend,
though you're not quite ready for true
love. Crushes probably hit you pretty
hard, and at times you'll mistake the
sexual attraction you feel for genuine
romance. Keep your wild emotions in
perspective, and you won't break too
many hearts.

Guard your inner goodness well. Because
you're physically motivated, there are a
lot of intense relationships in your future.
If too many don't go as planned, you
might lose your innocence and, possibly,
your penis.


Bastard Test Results:


The results are in. You are certifiably:


43% bastard!
24% of which is Tard




The worldwide average is 44% bastard.


How others compare:

3% (same as you)


45% (more bastard than you)


52% (less bastard than you)




Of the 2,181,911 test takers so far:







73% like to drink






59% gamble





51% will lie for sex





48% have cheated




41% hate homosexuality, 100%% of whom will die stupid
and alone



17% would have sex with a relative


7% like childporn



Interesting Results:

The most bastardly age group so far is 27 year olds. 27 year olds
average 46% bastard.

Guys who like the taste of coffee are more likely to
cheat on their girlfriends.

Men who have been with prostitutes have
more smelly armpits.

Catholics are more likely to spit on you.

Dirtbags who like childporn should burn in hell.


Gender test:

It all adds up...
You are definitely a man!





How do we know? Well, deep down,
your gender affects everything about you,
from your favorite number to your views on
Canada. Many men who took the test think
and act just like you, as you can see from
the clusters above.

Statistically speaking, you are a dude.

As we said, this test gets smarter with
every taker, and it's almost never wrong.
You can make it even better by telling us it
was right for you.

Amazing! I am a man!

EXCELLENT!

From the darkest bowels of our database, we
have successfully pinched out your gender.
Technology does always prevail, it seems. Thank
you for contributing.


-- So Far, The Gender Test Has Learned --

Men prefer falling over drowning to death.

Women really hate the word "used".

Women are more likely to realize that clams
are alive (90%) than men (only 88%).


If you're really wondering how the Gender Test
works so well, realize that 1,779,316 people have
taken the test. And it's gotten smarter each
time.

For each question, we track very carefully what
each sex answers, and we use this information to
build a complicated set of statistics. Below is an
example... based on up-to-date numbers.


MALE
FEMALE
Black Jack
71%
67%
The Slot Machine
29%
33%



Your results are in.




TheSpark.com wishes to thank all 1,017,134 females (57%) and 762,182 males (43%)
who have taken the Gender Test thus far. This experiment is something we're quite
proud of. Did you know that men are less likely to call this test retarded than women?
Women are less likely to choose being lonely (over bleeding to death) than men. Men
prefer white bedrooms. Women prefer blue bedrooms.

Purity Test:

You are 68% Pure!
(Very interesting.)



Here's how the REST of the world breaks down, compared to you:







people less pure than you (68%)

people like you (2%)

people more pure than you (30%)


Based on the 7,897,871 submissions before you.


Vital statistics:

93% held hands


92% kissed


86% french kissed


74% cheated on an exam


59% had sex


53% smoked marijuana


42% cheated in a relationship


23% intentionally burned oneself


20% slept with a married man or woman


18% slept with someone without knowing his/her name

Well... that's my results... what about you guys?

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