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Date Posted: 18:25:21 02/27/08 Wed
Author: brat
Subject: Re: I hate to say "I told you so"...
In reply to: EJetson 's message, "Re: I hate to say "I told you so"..." on 11:24:40 02/27/08 Wed

EJ, until I experienced it I never understood it either. Let me tell you that it is a living hell. I went to therapy, I went for long relaxing walks, I did all the other things that my shrink suggest. I have a chemical imbalance in my brain. I wasn't unwilling to try to get better. I was unable to. Physically, mentally and emotionally unable to. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't make a decision about even the simplest things. My days were spent thinking of the relief that suicide would bring. I cried for no reason at all for hours at a time and couldn't control it. There was no light. Only darkness and pain. I didn't want to live and I was too afraid to kill myself. If I hadn't taken medication I would be dead. Now that I'm on medication and beginning to feel better I'm exploring the other options but I will be on anti depressants the rest of my life, willingly. I know what major depression feels like and I never want to go there again.

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