To quote Yoda, "You will be... You will be." (more, nimrod) -- Big Time Wrestling Roleplay Board

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Date Posted: 23:13:01 03/06/99 Sat
Author: "Leatherneck" Lance Hawkins
Subject: To quote Yoda, "You will be... You will be." (more, nimrod)
In reply to: Jumpin Johnny Junior 's message, "I'm not afraid of you (Jester, Lance)" on 21:57:02 03/06/99 Sat

We join "Leatherneck" Lance Hawkins in his barracks at Camp Pendleton, California. He is packing up his belongings, ready for the rigors of the BTW.

Apparently, something's got Leatherneck fuming. Could it be... Triple J??? (And isn't that the name of a truck stop restaurant?)

Leatherneck: Alright -- Jumpin' Jack Flasher, or whatever the hell you call yourself -- let's get a few things straight. One: I am a United States Marine, which means I am a certifiable ass-kicker. Note the nickname "Leathernake," ass-face. If I were a member of the U.S. Navy, I'd be nicknamed "Sailor-Panzy," "Squid Boy," or -- my personal favorite -- "Seaman Hunter."

Two: Unfortunately, I am not at liberty to ask you your sexual orientation... thanks to Bill Clinton's haphazard "Don't Ask-Don't Tell" military initiative. Lucky for you. So, instead, I'll just take advantage of my great Marine Corps know-how...

Hawkins bows his head, and then continues.

Leatherneck: You make it a point to claim every wrestler in the BTW is homosexual. Yeah, we all know about homophobia and the rest, so I won't go any further with that one. Then, if that wasn't enough, you listen to the 21 Jump Street Theme Song in your freetime! Well, that's just plain unacceptable where I'm from.

He almost manages a laugh, but he holds it off (he is a US Marine, after all).

Leatherneck: No, I'm not saying you're a gay sissy-boy, Dribble J. What I am saying is that you're not United States Marine Corps material. Any man, and I use that term loosely, who watches a television show featuring both Johnny Depp and Richard Grieco is flaming.

"Leatherneck" Hawkins pauses for a second, perking his ears up.

Leatherneck: Shhhh. Do you hear that? It's your rude awakening coming, you civilian scum. You just pissed on the wrong anthill, dumbass. You want to juggle something in the ring? Juggle these. Dismissed.

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Replies:

You had better learn some fear queer -- Jester, 07:53:03 03/07/99 Sun