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Date Posted: 09:16:59 09/26/04 Sun
Author: Fernanda
Subject: Re: Task 2
In reply to: Deborah Ávila 's message, "Re: Task 2" on 15:15:12 09/20/04 Mon

Deborah, your essay is very good, but you forgot to use a "turnabout" introduction. There's a sentence in the 1st paragraph that I thought you could improve: "In this essay it will be discussed the following topics". It would be better if it was "In this essay the following topics will be discussed". In the 4th paragraph there's also a sentence that could be changed: "... to go back to the beginning of an idea and start again, (to) repeat and (to) contradict themselves." I'm not sure, but I thought that repeating the "to" you would improve paralelism.
That's all!!! Kisses and have a nice weekend.

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  • Re: Task 2 -- Deborah's Composition Revised, 13:58:39 09/28/04 Tue
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