Subject:  Re: im back |
Author:
red_candle
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Date Posted: 02:03:44 09/11/04 Sat
In reply to:
bittersweet
's message, "im back" on 22:05:39 09/10/04 Fri
>hey everyone! sorry i left so suddenly like that- i
>was on vacation....i tried to get on the computer
>before i left but by the time i was all packed and
>ready to go my b/f was rushing me out the door >:/
>the vacation was relaxing...it was good to get away
>from pills for so long....everything was fine of
>course until i got back like a few days ago...on the
>first night i returned i found myself begging my
>mother for diet pills-- i mean, BEGGING! cause i dont
>have an ID yet, so i cant buy them....this is very
>unlike me, because i have arreythmia (spelling) from
>taking too many years back and i hate the things, i
>despise them. it was like it wasnt even me asking for
>them. when she said no i started crying and couldnt
>stop for hours...also, my mom is talking about forcing
>me into therapy...she wants to see if some doctor
>would force me to go or something because she found my
>"ana book" -- it's a notebook with all numbers in it,
>adding, subtracting, multiplying calories- weight
>charts and stuff like that....i agree w/ her it's not
>right i have to live my life OBSESSED with numbers!
>but i need to...i cant put a single morsel of food in
>my mouth without knowing the amount of calories and
>how im going to burn them... i told her i'm not going
>to therapy or even leaving the house again until i
>lose weight...perhaps i should just get some help?? i
>really dont want to go anywhere - i dont want anyone
>to see me... i dont know...sorry for this guys, this
>is just my time of year. i hate the fall. it was
>around this time almost 6 years ago when i first
>started starving myself, so every fall i go
>stir-crazy.....dont you just wish you could stay on
>vacation forever?? lol, i really missed you guys, but
>there was no computer where i was staying....anyways,
>i'm up to 100 lbs right now and am trying to stay away
>from any type of pill, even if it means somebody has
>to tie me down....i'm willing to do that, i told my
>mom and b/f about the pain killers and all the
>prescriptions are hidden from me-- it means being
>treated like a baby but deep down i know i need
>it....sorry this post was so long, i had a lot to
>catch everyone up on....
>what happened to dawn? did she really leave? i never
>did get to say goodbye, that really sucks, i hope she
>and everyone else is okay....
>(PS, thank you chocolate for the new forum and thanks
>to everyone who emailed me)
>take care
>
>~jane~
jane,
i am so glad to see you back!!! did you see the post a few days ago where ppl were asking about you?? we've all missed you a lot! im glad you had fun on vacation; i could use one right now myself... ok just wanted to say welcome back--and its good to have another insomniac back in action. im about to fall asleep at the computer monitor here. ha
goodnight dear
xo
nicole
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