Re: hey everybody -- Dreams

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Subject: Re: hey everybody

Author:
Deb

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Date Posted: 13:11:59 11/06/04 Sat
In reply to: rita 's message, "Re: hey everybody" on 14:45:50 11/05/04 Fri

>i agree with you all
>the thing is he is only 18 he has no idea what its
>like
>and what he tells me for him he thinks he is doing the
>right thing ... while he really shouldn't be telling
>me these stuff just like deb said ...
>its not easy at all and because i lost weight my
>family expects me to keep it that way and all of my
>family friedns were like you look great ( i lost like
>20 lbs)
>i really just want to maintain my weight now... but
>it's so hard. I'm used to fast through the week and
>than eat on the weekend i know this has happend to a
>lot of you
>i really am happy with how i look now 113 is a good
>weight
>i'm going insane i have these phobias of gaining
>weight
>i'm sure all of you have ... tnx guys
>
>hope you all have a great weekend

Sweetie - you're already making excuses for him saying that he's only 18 y/o. 18 y/o is PLENTY old enough to know better and to know how to treat people in respect to what they say to them. Now back to the other comment I made, b/c I know how 'young' he is, I can say he really doesn't sound like he has an understanding of what an eating disorder is and does to someone. The fears you describe about gaining weight are something I live with every day. I STILL struggle - I'm petrified of becoming obese. It's only with constant work, every day, sometimes every minute within my day that I can get a grip on what is real and what is not concerning my ED. I now know for a fact that I can maintain a weight that I want that is BMI-wise healthy for me. It's not easy but like Jane said you need to communicate with those around you of your needs. It's the hardest thing I've tackled in my own recovery...I stuffed all my feelings and emotions for a good 23 years and did what I thought everyone else wanted me to do and wanted me to be. Only until you are ready to commit to YOURSELF will you be free from that kind of thinking and you'll be much happier. I'd give the guy a little break and concentrate on doing things for you and only you. If he comments on how come you're not so available or spending as much time with him, talk to him and let him know - you need to feel better about you and with that will come the start of the rest of the healing.

I hope some of this makes some sense to you. And I wish you the best. Hang in there - you're great and deserve what is best for you!

Deb

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