Subject:  Re: Roommate Drama Progression/Basil |
Author:
Shani
|
[
Next Thread |
Previous Thread |
Next Message |
Previous Message
]
Date Posted: 15:50:40 10/09/04 Sat
In reply to:
Basil
's message, "Re: Roommate Drama Progression/Deb" on 13:00:37 10/09/04 Sat
>>Deb,
>>I thought I would let you know what the latest was
>>with the roommate issue that I was having a little
>>while ago when we were on the other forum. I don't
>>know if you care or remember or care to remember that
>>she had commentend to me that she "noticed when I
>>didn't eat", would give me the big "half" of food, and
>>made sure that we always ate together. Well, we work
>>together as well as live together and it can be a
>>little rough sometimes. Just because we spend so much
>>time together.
>>
>>Yesterday when she got home from work, she asked me if
>>she could talk to me and she said she felt like she
>>was getting the cold shoulder from me and everything.
>>She said that it didn't bother her when we didn't eat
>>together, but she feels that I am not the same to her
>>at work or around people like I am at home, which is
>>true to an extent...I tend to use people as a buffer
>>between us.
>>
>>So I actually stood up and told her that I didn't like
>>all of the comments that she made about my food and
>>everything. It was soooo liberating. One less thing
>>that she can control me with. There were definitely
>>things that I need to improve on as well (I recognize
>>that) but it was good to have my issues (AKA requests)
>>out in the open and tell her to stop harping on them.
>>
>>She also said something that really annoyed me too
>>while we were talking...She made the comment that she
>>did not think that her standards were ridiculously
>>high and that she was felt they were attainable. I
>>told her that putting standards on ME for MY personal
>>life (besides regular house stuff) was not her
>>responsibility. I told her that I feel that her
>>standards are just that...HER standards and I don't
>>want to live a life that she has set up for me. I
>>didn't move in with her to have another mom. So her
>>standards may NOT be ridiculously high, but that
>>doesn't mean that I WANT to live up to them.
>>
>>It all sounds so catty written out, but I didn't get
>>an attitude or anything. I tried to speak calmly and
>>approach it with the greatest of ease so as not to
>>hurt her feelings or whatever. I THINK that I did the
>>right thing, but what do you think? She came home and
>>confronted me first, then I wrote out her arguments
>>and my rebuttals and then presented that to her with
>>solutions for my behaviors that I felt were indeed out
>>of line.
>>
>>Feedback?
>
>Shani, Although you didn't address this to me, I just
>want to say that I think you handled it very well.
>Learning to live with roomates can be trying anyway,
>but when they start trying to manipulate (I think that
>she was being manipulative to you) it's even worse. It
>sounds like you expressed your needs appropriately,
>and stood up for your own rights without things
>getting hostile. I think you did good.
Thanks...I was really nervous about it. So it makes me feel better to know that I handled it well. I try to be fair and present both sides, but it still ends up a little skewed sometimes. Thanks for replying...I really do appreciate the feedback.
[
Next Thread |
Previous Thread |
Next Message |
Previous Message
]
| |
Feedback: 